Don't Play Yourself - A Lesson from Carlton Banks

One of my favorite episodes from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" is "Stress Related" from season 6 episode 3, aka "That Time Carlton Banks Straight Up Played Himself." Oh my Lordt! Peak foolishness and naïveté.

What had happened was...  Carlton waltzes into his family's living room to loudly and proudly proclaim to his father that he'd just gotten "the" job. Except, he had not. Like... AT ALL. (I'm laughing already!) He is basing this job that is "in the bag" solely off of the body language of his interviewers. What is this body language you may wonder?

A wink and the gun. 

Bihhhh Whet!?!?! He knew there were other applicants, he knew he was too young for the job, and yet he still began celebrating, before getting said jobs, because a bunch of white dudes in a boardroom gave him a wink and the gun. (First of all, everyone knows that white guys don't commit to anything with no wink and no gun. COME ON MAN! You better get a handshake, a signed and notarized contract, and a golf game followed by a night with strippers before you believe that).

To be fair, I understand where Carlton was coming from. He's young... dumb... full of hope. Sometimes you over-reach when seemingly positive vibes are flowing in a room. But let's face it, a lot of white guys really do love to do "the wink and the gun" and it means not a damnt thing.

Exhibit A: Nice, Approachable White Dad - Danny Tanner (played by Bob Saget)

Exhibit B: Dopey-Looking White Guy - Jake Gyllenhaal (I will literally never get his appeal).

Exhibit C: Annoying AF White Guy Who Is Your Boss - Michael Scott (played by Steve Carell. Have ya'll seen Steve lately!?! Zaddy. I don't make the rules, my body just responds).

Exhibit D: Mansplaining White Guy - George Costanza played by Jason Alexander

Even looking at the body language of this motion, I see nothing about it says "I am telling you truth." It looks like someone promising you something that they can't deliver... which is exactly what happened to Carlton when he found out he did not get the job. (Re-live it here.)

The Point
While you can't necessarily depend on someone else to give you an opportunity, regardless of how dazzling, warm, and sweet they may talk to you, there is one person on whom you can depend. 

Yourself.

That, my friends, is a golden nugget! You know you better than anyone else. You can give yourself opportunity, or at least a chance. I know this because I've been forced to learn this lesson time and time again. Yes, I have been able to benefit from wonderful opportunities that other people have given to me. My parents, my siblings (sometimes), a scholarship here and there, a few great teachers and mentors along the way. But to be honest, there's a lot I haven't gotten. There's a lot that about me that society likes to deem unworthy of chance or opportunity. I'm a black woman and and an artist and I've made massive mistakes. I'm not supposed to "get" anything. And you know what. So what.

I have the power to create opportunity for myself and I should! 

You are your own accelerator. You are your own momentum.

So even if it's something small. Whether it's one push up, one page, one task, do it. You can depend on your own efforts, your own purpose, and your own clear vision for you life. 

One step at a time homie. One step at a time.

Serena Williams is Pregnant & Black Girl Magic Continues To Be A Thing

Serena Williams is with-child and #blackgirlmagic continues to be a thing. Yes, ring the alarm. BLACK GIRL MAGIC IS A MUTHAF*CKIN THING. And not in the magical negro way. Or in the way that black women have always been superheroes without a capes a la "yes massa, I shall rear your children, bear your weight (forcibly), cook your meals, hide my crown and glory, and brace the whips and scorns of th'opressor's wrong. No, in the way that she was pursuing her purpose while creating life kinda way. 

Yeah, she did the damn thing. She won the Australian Open when she was 8 weeks pregnant against her #blackgirlmagic sister Venus Williams while being 35 which many medical field would rudely consider a "geriatric pregnancy."

Yeah she did the damn thing.

So now we're at a quandary of sorts. On the one hand, I'm not okay with people thinking all of us are superhuman beings who can bear the weight of the world while slaying dragons that are imagined and real. On the other hand, I'm reassessing my goals and thinking that 

A. There is nothing that I can't accomplish and B. What am I doing with my life? 

I've got to get to work.

Yeah, she did the damn thing.

This, in my opinion is a glorious thing and I am oh so happy for her. And she's got a supportive (by all public accounts) partner in Rreddit co-founder) and they do cute things together like getting pedicures where fishies eat their feet, or going bowling, or walking on the page. Sigh. Le sigh. Le all the sighs. The romantic in me that watches J-LO movies and doesn't completely despise the move "Pretty Woman" is having all the feels and here for all the things. Not to mention, this means that Beyonce's twins and Serena's future nugget get to play and make future music videos about being the baddest!

Serena Williams - Living Her Best Life

Serena Williams - Still Living Her Best Life

Serena Williams - Always Living Her Best Life

What You Didn't Know about Tony and Olivier Award-Winning Choreographer Stephen Mear

I had the pleasure to sit down and chat with Stephen Mear, the brilliant choreographer of Milwaukee Repertory Theater's current production of Ragtime and boy did we have a great time! He squeezed in some time to meet with me post rehearsal, both of us exhausted, to have a real conversation about art, life, and the pursuit of happiness. As you read, imagine us both laughing hysterically... or rather me... laughing (unattractively) in hysterics. Both in and out of the rehearsal hall, He has taught me so much about performance, work ethic, movement, storytelling, and being a great human being. Little did I know that this wonderful spirit is also a two-time Olivier and one-time Tony award winning choreographer. If you get the chance to work with him, hell talk to him, you are definitely in good hands.

-----

Stephen, what's up? Thanks so much for letting me do this. Well the first thing I wanted to know is, what drew you to dance in the first place?
When I was 3, my mum was a dance teacher at a school. She just used to help out. And so I used to run in and out of the class. And I just joined that way. She never wanted me to. I just chose to do it.

Did you just keep taking classes?
Yeah, and also I'm dyslexic. It was a way I could express myself through dance. So that's why I kind of pursued it more.

You told me that sometimes it goes back and forth with how often travel between the UK and the US. What's your preference?
I like both. I think I'm very lucky, I think I'm so lucky. Oh my God. Most of my work the last few years has been in the UK.

What do you think the difference is between English performers and American performers?
I think [England] has the same amount of talent. They used to say that English people didn't have the talent as much as Americans. I mean [England] fits into Texas three times, so the talent [England] has got is snapped up straight away. Whereas in America there is so much more talent. That's what it is. And I think in England because they are paid such crap money, I think they must love it if they do it there. Everybody I know who's in the West End teaches or does another job

How comes you guys don't have Equity there or a union?
We do, but you don't have to be a part of it. Wish is such a shame because if you were it would be stronger. So people can come in off the street and audition and have no training, nothing. Normally it doesn't work for them like it does for people who are trained.

What's it like to be in Milwaukee? 
Fabulous!

Did you think it was random?
It's not because, I work at a rep theater in England called Chichester Festival Theatre and it's very similar to that which is outside of London. It's kind of the same feel. It's a massive city with no cars on the road. They have these wide roads and hardly any traffic.

Stephen Mear (R) teaching a sequence for Tateh & Little Girl in "Ragtime"

So you're going to New York after this?
Yeah, to audition dancers for the Met, the Metropolitan Opera for a few days. I'll be back over there for Christmas and New Year.

What would you encourage a young dancer to do? Why do it? Is it even worth it?
If you are a dancer I would encourage you to do it if you wanted to do it. I deal with musical theater people so I prefer triple threats that can act, sing and dance.

How is it working in the show dealing with different skill levels and body types?
I'm so used to it because I've done a lot of musicals where we've had to just have actors. It's just giving them confidence to believe in you and trust you. Like I always say to everybody, I will never make anybody look stupid. I really believe it. But also, I think once you say that to somebody, people will open up to you, even if they make a fool of themselves in rehearsal, they are willing to do that to see how far they can be pushed.

What's your biggest pet peeve about performers or dancers?
When people say no. If someone says "no, I can't do that" "or no I wouldn't" and they start getting defensive, that's when you know you're in trouble and I'm not good with people like that.

I am a little curious, not to backtrack too much, but you mentioned you were dyslexic. Have you ever made any pieces about being dyslexia?
No I haven't actually. And when I decided to do "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" in Mary Poppins [on the West End], Matthew Bourne said to me "are you mad?" Because I couldn't spell it. We had to have all the letters on the mirror while I was doing it!

Were you ever teased about being dyslexic?
.......
More on this and the struggles of being a performer in Part II of our conversation here.

Guest Blogger - @jesimieljenkins - Moving to LA (Part 2)

If you guys may recall, my friend Jesimiel wrote, a couple of weeks back, about why he chose to move to LA in pursuit of his dreams of working as a host in the entertainment industry. Below, my dear friend elaborates one what he's learned in the last six months since he's been there. It's an eye opener and I think for all artists hoping to make it in LA, or any major metropolis (read: NYC, London, Paris, Tokyo, Rio... etc), you can learn a lot from his experiences.

Three things I’ve learned so far:

A career in the entertainment business is EXPENSIVE. 

-You must be willing to make a sizable investment in yourself to be taken seriously

            -This means paying for really great headshots

            -This means enrolling in ongoing acting classes at a good studio

            -This means buying great clothes that make people notice you when you walk into the audition room

Many people in LA want to be successful but few want to work for it.

-Many people want THAT life, that Beverly Hills life, but few will invest in themselves and work for it.

-It’s important to consistently work towards your goals in a sprawling city like LA and do things that you’re passionate about

-You don’t want to end up another embittered and angry artist serving tables and waiting for Steven Spielberg to walk in and notice you- take your career and your life into your own hands

Drugs are very very real

-I had a very sheltered upbringing in the suburbs of Virginia. I knew what drugs were but they were a very distant reality

-In LA, drugs are a close reality

            -Seriously, keep your drink close at bars and don’t go to an “after-party” with someone you don’t know, there will probably be drugs there

None of the families in Wilkerson’s book aspired to grace the big screen, they just wanted higher wages for their families and to live without threat of racial violence.  However, as I near the end of Wilkerson’s book, I am humbly reminded that I stand on the shoulders of giants and that I am not the first to take this journey.  Though my experience dims in comparison to the present and blood-drenched reality my ancestors lived in the south, I take pride in their bravery as they, like I, made the courageous decision to act upon their dreams.       

follow him @jesimieljenkins on Twitter

Three Things Senator Wendy Davis Taught Me About Life

This past Tuesday, I had the privilege to witness Senator Wendy Davis filibuster an oppressive abortion bill that would ultimately shut-down all but 5 clinics in the state of Texas. I am indeed pro-choice. I think every woman has the right to choose what happens to HER body. The ramifications for the passage of such a bill are quite horrific. The bill would ONLY allow for the procedure to be performed in a handful of cities including Houston, Austin, Dallas, San Antonio. Those cities are within a 3.5/4 hour radius of each other on the west side of the state. It takes more than 15 hours to drive across Texas!!! The bigger picture though, is that these facilities are the go to places for a lot of poor, uninsured women throughout this state and many nearby states as well for things like birth control, breast exams, and health checks.

I am not ashamed to say that it made me quite emotional seeing Sen. Davis literally give her body and her voice for so many that could not. I (re)learned 3 big lessons from her that can be applied to everyday life!


1. PREPARATION is key - 

• Sen. Davis and her democratic senate minority cohort had collected binders upon binders of stories, articles, and research to read from to take up the 13 hour filibuster time block.
• She knew what she was talking about and had retorts ready when she was questioned
• She wore the now infamous pink Mizuno Women’s Wave Rider 16 Running Shoe for the long haul. No heels for this battle

2. It helps to have PEOPLE -

• Frequently, her fellow Democrat Senators would stand around her for support
• Her office, with the help of social media, was able to keep collecting stories that they would then send to her to read ensuring that she had enough material
• Her Democrat fellows would eek the time... essentially running the clock by asking her questions that asserted their beliefs.... and spoke very slowly. LOL

3. In the end, it comes down to YOU - 

• Even though she had some support, it was SHE that had to stand for the entirety of the filibuster, even after there was some dispute as to whether a not a vote on the bill passed.
• SHE had the responsibility of thinking quickly on her feet when questioned by Republican senators.
• SHE spoke from her experiences and from what people would consider a mistake, being a teenage mother. And then she rocked it out at Harvard Law!
• SHE had to stand, she had to exhaust herself, she had to fight. And had it not been for the conviction of her values and what she wanted, she would not have been successful! 

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That: Working Amidst Self-Doubt

I am a worrier by nature... well my present nature. I don't think think I was always this way and I certainly hope not to be when I hit 30/35/30. (Everyone always talks about hitting those ages as this amazing time of "don't-give-any-fucks" with such joy and serenity. But that's where I sit now. And I don't like it. I really don't like it. It can be immensely overwhelming to think about how something, someone, some choice from your past may detrimentally affect your future. Hell, by the sheer virtue of my blackness, I may not get a job from some company. And what if I really wanted that job!? Or, the fact that I went to Harvard makes people give me a second glance, as if some institution makes you better? I mean, I'll take that advantage, but that doesn't guarantee me anything. Or, what about that potentially infamous picture that's on Facebook (don't go looking for it) that some "frenemy" won't take down? Or, that one time I.......  Or, the fact that I am pro-choice (not pro-terminate)... but pro-choice and I decide to express the values? So forth and so on. I won't divulge every victory or failure of my past of which in the latter there are many... but you see how my mind works? 

The only solution I've found on my worst day seems trivial... and on my best day seems life- affirming. 

• Say/Pray something to God/Higher Power/Heavens/Universe
• Connecting with good, honest people with whom you can talk and fellowship
• Be outside in nature listening to the little miracles, ie birds chirping, wind blowing, rain drops hitting the ground, bugs trynna bite me (I think I may have been a tree in another lifetime. HA!)
• Writing
• And recite the serenity prayer. Like a lot. Like.. to the point where my shoulders relax. Reminding myself that I can't control everything and attempting to, will surmount in a massive panic attack.

So in the meantime, I'm going to work on things I CAN control, like publishing a book of monologues this fall, and keepin it movin'. Cause when it comes to worry.... "ain't nobody got time for that."

Help Me Edit Episode 1

Hey Guys!

Remember the episodes that I spoke about writing in this post here? Well, I've published episode 1 on Scribd.com! Click the link below. I'd love any feedback from you guys to help me make it better. Let me know what you like, don't like, and are curious about! Let's get editing.

Siblings - Episode 1 - Draft 5 by Nickclette Izuegbu

Guest Blogger: Jelisa1987 - "The Quietest People Have The Loudest Minds"

“The quietest people have the loudest minds.”

My friends don’t think I’m quiet.  In fact, I’m sure they wish I would shut up!  It’s when I get into the workplace that I calm down.  I become quiet.  I may joke a bit here or there but I’m generally chill… which causes people to think I’m shy.  People assume so much about the quietest person in the group.  They think that they are timid and meek because they aren’t yakking at every comment brought up in the conversation but what I’ve noticed about those who choose their words wisely is that they are key observers and some of the brightest people you’ll ever meet.

During my first week of working as a program tutor to high school students, I wasn’t the loud one, the flamboyant tutor.  I worked hard to make sure everything was getting done.  My goal was not to make jokes and play around (although after hours my co-workers and I did that).  Work is what I’m getting paid for.  The thing about working so hard is that you miss out on the moments where the fun and laughter happens. Bonding. I usually suck it up and remind myself that that is what breaks, after hours and weekends are for.  I’m here to do a job.

Working with so many different personalities has taught me so much about life.  I’ve been dealing with so much personally. If you are quiet, don’t be afraid to speak up when you need to.  A closed mouth doesn’t get fed.  Not everyone is going to notice your hard work and effort but work hard anyway.  If you need to assert your presence do so (in a kind way).  Remember that your thoughts, ideas and emotions are valuable to the world and you don’t have to change for anyone.  

J

Jelisa1987 is a self-professed "Black Girl, Latin World blogger. Houston raised. Jesus Saved. Leader. Fighter. Writer. K∆X. Afro-Latino advocate. World traveler. Spanish Speaker."

She has an ardent passion for lots of things and one of her biggest goals is to find a way to merge her interest in the arts, activism, and Afro-Latino culture. I think she can do it. Do you? To here more of her musings follow her on Twitter @Jelisa1987.

Writing A Monologue.... Why Try?!

So, my writing/editing session had to be rescheduled and THAT bummed me out. BUT since I know that continually creating work is imperative to my career success and overall trajectory, I am moving on to another new project in the mean time.

If you didn't know, actors, always have to audition. That's the real job, auditioning. If you can imagine constantly having to go on a job interview, sometimes 2 or 3 times in a day...actually don't. That's the annoying bit, especially for me because I just want to act, not clamor to get the chance to do it. But, one of the things that I have learned in my many years of auditioning is that one of the best ways to set myself up for success in an audition is to pick good material that resonates with me. It may speak to my personal experience or it may just scare/excite me in some way. Since I know me best....  why don't I just write with my own monologues? Why don't I! As my friend Mark Brown II told me

"Make the art that you want to make. Be critical later. Some ideas are great on paper and suck in life and some ideas aren't the best on paper but ROCK in real life."

So, my next project will come from that. My inspiration? Music that I love. To be honest, this idea started when I saw a quote from the infamous 1999 summer jam by Sisqo entitled "The Thong Song." You laugh now, but can you imagine a monologue that seriously dealt with the concept of the thong? Or a monologue where the protagonist IS a thong? HAHAHA. I'm cracking myself up just thinking about it.

It may be a tremendous failure, or... it could be my biggest piece of genius. So, let me know what your favorite songs are, and I might make a monologue based on your inspiration. I'm looking to make at least 1 good one but I'll write 10. And in case, if you've forgotten:

Episode 3 Has Arrived....

Today I am meeting with a mentor writer friend of mine to get some feedback on episodes I've written for my most recent webseries currently entitled "Siblings." (My family is secretly hoping they are(not) featured in it. LOL.

I'm so excited. I may or may not cry. I may or may not get defensive. I may or may not want to quit afterwards.


Yeah... that's a crock. I'm going to love every uncomfortable awesome moment of it. The part that's probably going to be the most annoying isn't that I'll have to make edits... I love edits. That part that's going to be the most annoying is that now I have to start working on my next project. Idea development never ends. You have to keep writing. There isn't one idea. It's not genius to just write one piece. Genius and excellence develop from a disciplined practice. We don't just have the MacBook... we have the iPad, the iPod, the... well you see where I am going with this. Keep working! guys

Encouraging Others, Encouraging Yourself

It's important to accept that I will, at the core, be who I was born to be. I can make modifications and adjustments as I move on the quest to better myself. However, I should remind myself that I am who I am and shouldn't compare myself or my ambitions to others. I should instead try to be better... the best version of myself and improve on that! That is ehre I will find joy.

What Creative Types (Should) Do At Night

I find myself sitting through a bout of insomnia and arriving officially at the morning and realizing I have spent the entire night watching inspirational videos from people I admire. People like Ellen Degeneres, Oprah Winfrey and yes, Chelsea Handler. But, I also spent a LOT of time watching choreography videos on youtube. Granted, I doubt I'll ever dance behind to Beyonce on stage in a corps of female dancers (although... hey girl, I'm from H-Town, let's meet up!) But I still LOVE to dance. I really do! Something about music and movement coming together frees. It's amazing to see these people craft work for themselves that has the ability to transform someone's mood and inspire them. It's exciting and rather humbling to know that perhaps one day I can do that for another.

Of course, perhaps I should have spent the evening.... morning... twilight... whatever, writing or doing something more produc... active, I think it jumpstarted my day... or my all-nighter... whatever, you know what I mean. And since I'm prone to sharing these golden nuggets, here's a video I found particularly enjoyable. The dancers seem so happy, so talented, AND the editing for the clip was amazing. Looks like something gooberish that I would do. I'm gonna still something from it. I also need to take more editing classes or shadow more projects.

Signed
Goober or EazeWaySays

PS. These video is still a reminder that I need to go out and purchase... have a friend gift me Rosetta Stone : The French Edition.

Guillaume Lorentz - Beautiful People (Chris Brown) Exclusively Fun Time

A Problem With Kickstarter

As an up-and-coming media mogul, which I can say because this is my blog and I can say what I want,  utilizing Kickstarter, and sites like it, to help fund projects and ventures I have in mind is something I'm definitely thinking about doing. I've seen it help fund projects for friends and I think it's great. You can tap into a supporter fan-base to help you fund and remain in creative control of your idea. It supports that old-age adage "I have the toys, so I decide when we play" or as the famous song goes "It's my partyI can cry if I want to."

Most recently the most successful Kickstarter was that of producer Rob Thomas to fund a Veronica Mars movie to follow-up the now defunct show. The success of this project was greeted with a surge of attention to Kickstarter by more than just "the little people" and has been embraced by celebrities. I, don't necessarily have a problem with that. It's hard to get a movie made and maintain control if you don't have the fundage (yeah, I made that word up... I think). But not everyone is okay with that.

"Jon Lajoie, one of the stars of FX’s comedy The League was even inspired to start a faux-Kickstarter campaign earlier this week, featuring a searing video that satires Thomas, Braff and the other celebrities that have begun to turn to their audiences for direct financial backing." -Buzzfeed 
Read the rest of the article here.

Check it out below. I think it's hilarious and won't lie... feels like a little bit of truth. #preach

Johnny Cash-ing In

As a human being, an artist, an perhaps a girl who's had quite the circuitous past, I look up to a lot of successful people who have made more than one mistake in their life. It helps me see that great success can emerge from the darndest of places. A flower can grow from a crack in the cement, there is a diamond in the ruff, and you can find that needle in the haystack. 

Today I found a quote that read "A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them and strong enough to correct them" from John C Maxwell. 

I think the quote is simply amazing. And I think a lot of people struggle with demons, sometimes successfully, sometimes unsuccessfully, but to be able to make great art from it... that's power. And to be able to commiserate with others and grow in compassion because of your struggle is also quite beautiful. 

When I thought about it, and perhaps because the author of that quote name starts with John, Johnny Cash immediately came to mind. He struggled with addiction and landed in jail numerous times, albeit for one night stints, he used it to his benefit. There's power and beauty in that. And he even grew to have compassion for prisoners so much so that he gave concerts at prisons. He eventually got his act together and curtailed his use of drugs and run-ins with the law and still exists today as an icon in the legacy of American culture.

It does get better. It is circuitous. You can make magic happen when you least expect it. Just... Johnny Cash that shit!

Failing Up

Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave. - Mary Tyler Moore

I am continually humbled by the things I don't achieve as much as I am by the things that I do. At times it feels as though I am not a strong person. I think it's an interesting perspective to embrace the fact that the times at which we are humbled by our own actions or the actions of others, can help us to be stronger people in the end. It's old age adage "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." It's annoying, but perhaps, just maybe, it's true? :D

From the Book According to Chelsea Handler

Life can sometimes feel like it's riddled with grenades and landmines. At times, you step in a bad patch and life implodes right before your very eyes. At other times, you pick up a grenade and pull the pin and are the cause for the implosion. What happens after each battle? What happens after the war? How do you keep winning in your life both career-wise and socially.

I think it's a two parter. A two parter that I've picked up from someone I look up to a great deal: Chelsea Handler. She's a self-made woman who's life has been riddled with numerous ups and downs and she's risen to become one of the world's most successful creative entrepreneurs, entertainers, writers and funny-women.

1. Use your hiccups and mistakes to your advantage. Embrace Them! Transform a negative into a positive. Play your inner hero, not your villain. We are imperfect creatures but finding a way to use your situations, adapt it, and make it work FOR you and not AGAINST you, will get you further than you think. Part of this includes accepting your situation and owning it. You can have a hand in your progress, your image, your destiny. 
2. You've got to find your tribe. Time and time again I've heard the age-old adage repeated when I ask my elders who are successfully living their lives. You've got to find the people who can contribute and encourage your ambitions, your creativity, peace-of-mind. And once you find your tribe stick together. Uplift one another and support each other.

Check some of her story here.