Auditioning: The Shit That Don't Quit

Lessssbehonesssst, auditioning scary. The only times I enjoy auditioning are...

1. When I literally give no f****. 
2. When I KNOW that I am soooo wrong for the part (all male, or all white, or all tappers, or all whatever I am not and the likelihood of them casting me in say... Funny Girl is slim to none... and therefore I (literally and figuratively, all-up-and-in-that audition room give not a one).

I mean, I understand the necessity of auditioning. How else is the world supposed to see my work, especially in a new market. In all the ways I feel confident about what I can do, there are just as many ways that I can still learn. And with time, the logic goes that I'll ripen. That being said, it floors me that veteran actors have to audition. Correction: when I see a line of veteran, super-talented actors, standing in line to audition. A line... that I am also in. When did that happen?

The Rep has fantastic facilities and I get to use them for a year. (Thanks guys!) The Rep also allows local theater companies to hold their auditions in the building's rehearsal halls. On one particular evening, due to the schedule, my cohort and I were given time slots early in the day to audition for an upcoming theater festival in the area this summer. Afterwards, we all headed to a slew of rehearsals.  When we had our next ten-minute break, BOOM. Big ass line of actors...in the same line. When did that happen!?

This is NOT The Rep. I stole it from the Internet to be dramatic. Because that's what I do as an actor. I do things dramatically for an effect. I also do this in real life. And sometimes I make myself laugh. Right now I am laughing hysterically because I think I'm being clever. (The definition of Actor is not "be dramatic.") End. Scene.

I don't get excited about auditioning because I know that there are massive amounts of skill and talent that already exist in my industry. Add to that the reality that sometimes my youth, or skill, or look simply does not comply with what a director envisions. But to see that actors older and more esteemed than myself are officially in competition with me, or I with them, is odd. It's a part of the job.

And I believe that this is why I strive to create, and write, and produce, things. I am drawn to the idea that I can make something tangible for myself and for others. I don't have to clamor, I can have it. . There are so many stories that haven't been told,  I know my hasn't. So when it comes to auditioning, I like being reminded, that's it's time to create again.

What You Didn't Know about Tony and Olivier Award-Winning Choreographer Stephen Mear

I had the pleasure to sit down and chat with Stephen Mear, the brilliant choreographer of Milwaukee Repertory Theater's current production of Ragtime and boy did we have a great time! He squeezed in some time to meet with me post rehearsal, both of us exhausted, to have a real conversation about art, life, and the pursuit of happiness. As you read, imagine us both laughing hysterically... or rather me... laughing (unattractively) in hysterics. Both in and out of the rehearsal hall, He has taught me so much about performance, work ethic, movement, storytelling, and being a great human being. Little did I know that this wonderful spirit is also a two-time Olivier and one-time Tony award winning choreographer. If you get the chance to work with him, hell talk to him, you are definitely in good hands.

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Stephen, what's up? Thanks so much for letting me do this. Well the first thing I wanted to know is, what drew you to dance in the first place?
When I was 3, my mum was a dance teacher at a school. She just used to help out. And so I used to run in and out of the class. And I just joined that way. She never wanted me to. I just chose to do it.

Did you just keep taking classes?
Yeah, and also I'm dyslexic. It was a way I could express myself through dance. So that's why I kind of pursued it more.

You told me that sometimes it goes back and forth with how often travel between the UK and the US. What's your preference?
I like both. I think I'm very lucky, I think I'm so lucky. Oh my God. Most of my work the last few years has been in the UK.

What do you think the difference is between English performers and American performers?
I think [England] has the same amount of talent. They used to say that English people didn't have the talent as much as Americans. I mean [England] fits into Texas three times, so the talent [England] has got is snapped up straight away. Whereas in America there is so much more talent. That's what it is. And I think in England because they are paid such crap money, I think they must love it if they do it there. Everybody I know who's in the West End teaches or does another job

How comes you guys don't have Equity there or a union?
We do, but you don't have to be a part of it. Wish is such a shame because if you were it would be stronger. So people can come in off the street and audition and have no training, nothing. Normally it doesn't work for them like it does for people who are trained.

What's it like to be in Milwaukee? 
Fabulous!

Did you think it was random?
It's not because, I work at a rep theater in England called Chichester Festival Theatre and it's very similar to that which is outside of London. It's kind of the same feel. It's a massive city with no cars on the road. They have these wide roads and hardly any traffic.

Stephen Mear (R) teaching a sequence for Tateh & Little Girl in "Ragtime"

So you're going to New York after this?
Yeah, to audition dancers for the Met, the Metropolitan Opera for a few days. I'll be back over there for Christmas and New Year.

What would you encourage a young dancer to do? Why do it? Is it even worth it?
If you are a dancer I would encourage you to do it if you wanted to do it. I deal with musical theater people so I prefer triple threats that can act, sing and dance.

How is it working in the show dealing with different skill levels and body types?
I'm so used to it because I've done a lot of musicals where we've had to just have actors. It's just giving them confidence to believe in you and trust you. Like I always say to everybody, I will never make anybody look stupid. I really believe it. But also, I think once you say that to somebody, people will open up to you, even if they make a fool of themselves in rehearsal, they are willing to do that to see how far they can be pushed.

What's your biggest pet peeve about performers or dancers?
When people say no. If someone says "no, I can't do that" "or no I wouldn't" and they start getting defensive, that's when you know you're in trouble and I'm not good with people like that.

I am a little curious, not to backtrack too much, but you mentioned you were dyslexic. Have you ever made any pieces about being dyslexia?
No I haven't actually. And when I decided to do "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" in Mary Poppins [on the West End], Matthew Bourne said to me "are you mad?" Because I couldn't spell it. We had to have all the letters on the mirror while I was doing it!

Were you ever teased about being dyslexic?
.......
More on this and the struggles of being a performer in Part II of our conversation here.

Save Ya Rep: Working in Repertory Theater

Working in repertory theater for the Houston Shakespeare Festival was an eye-opening experience. We worked on two very different shows at the same time, Antony & Cleopatra and As You Like It switching back and forth each day spending the first week of rehearsal on AYLI and the second on A&C. On our last day of tech, which is a beast in of itself, one of our directors mentioned it had technically only been our 14th day rehearsing that show. WTF!!!! Are you serious.

These two shows could not have been more different. To be honest, on the days when I know I am to frolic in the land of Egypt... although I'm done up to the I was so nervous. "Antony & Cleopatra" is an absolute beast. It was fun yet hard. With each new performance, as usual, I got more comfortable. Never in my life have I shown that much skin for that many people. I think I did alright. Whatcha think?

Yours Truly working it as Charmian in 'Antony & Cleopatra'

As for As You Like It. Boy did I love playing Phebe. What a firecracker! If I'm honest, I wasn't always quite sure why people were laughing at what I was doing but I'm sure that a part of it was  because of how much my Silvius and I were in contrast to one another but also because neither of us relinquished our overall objectives. (Ick. Actor speak. My apologies ya'll). But, I'm thinking... maybe it's not my business to know why the audience laughs, but just trust what I do. The director and my scene partners are taking care of it. If I just commit to my goal and point of view, I'm golden.

Me as Phebe really wanting some Ganymede. Ha

What working in repertory theater setting really helps me work on was on how well one must rehearse, how to be efficient with time, and how to juggle two things at once. Having to continually balance two realities, and commit to telling an honest and committed story was arduous and rewarding. Even the more established actors would comment on how out of practice there were in the repertory setting. It was such a wonderful exercise in time management, multi-tasking, and so much more. I'll be heading off to Milwaukee Repertory Theater to do much of the same. It'll be exhausting to say the least, but hey, get to act for a living, God willing. I couldn't be luckier.

"Thank You 10" - Conversations Between Acting

I'm some ways, the early days of rehearsal can feel like the first day of school. There's lots of anxiety yet excitement, nervousness and confidence, self-doubt a midst intense hope. But it's more than just school and I am approaching each new experience as more than just a student.

One of the aspects I've enjoyed the most about my experience with Houston Shakespeare Festival is the talking-to and getting-to-know my fellow artists better. The conversations in of themselves teach me so much about the different paths people take in this field. I've been able to eek out life advice AND steal some really great acting techniques from so many of the more established actors in the casts.

One of the most eye-opening realizations I've had is learning that many of the actors are (a lot) older than they play, and a lot older than I thought they were. I'm glad I can end that misguided perception. Given that truth, and the truth that black don't crack, I think I'm good for at least another 20-30 years.

Another unique thing about these casts... a lot of them are married. Speaking as someone who one day hopes to start a family, this was rather reassuring. You CAN be a performer and have a happy married life. What's particularly unique about this season is the number of couples there are in the overall artistic team! The guy who plays Antony is married to the director (Leah Gardiner) of Antony & Cleopatra, and Cleopatra is married to Octavius. Aggripa is married to the stage manager of Antony & Cleopatra. Pompey is getting married to someone who used to be in connected to the festival. Enobarbus is married to someone who used to be connected to the show...

and you wouldn't know it because, as a friend in the cast put it, "no one changes their frickin' name anymore!"

Anyway. It's been fun yet hard. I'm much more confident with Phebe of "As You Like it" than Charmian of "Antony & Cleopatra", but that's probably because I've spent more time in/with her  I'm enjoying it all around. I'm looking forward to creating and finding more and more dimensions to both roles. And...how awesome is it that I get paid to do this?! I truly am blessed from above! -Nickclette Izuegbu