Auditioning: The Shit That Don't Quit

Lessssbehonesssst, auditioning scary. The only times I enjoy auditioning are...

1. When I literally give no f****. 
2. When I KNOW that I am soooo wrong for the part (all male, or all white, or all tappers, or all whatever I am not and the likelihood of them casting me in say... Funny Girl is slim to none... and therefore I (literally and figuratively, all-up-and-in-that audition room give not a one).

I mean, I understand the necessity of auditioning. How else is the world supposed to see my work, especially in a new market. In all the ways I feel confident about what I can do, there are just as many ways that I can still learn. And with time, the logic goes that I'll ripen. That being said, it floors me that veteran actors have to audition. Correction: when I see a line of veteran, super-talented actors, standing in line to audition. A line... that I am also in. When did that happen?

The Rep has fantastic facilities and I get to use them for a year. (Thanks guys!) The Rep also allows local theater companies to hold their auditions in the building's rehearsal halls. On one particular evening, due to the schedule, my cohort and I were given time slots early in the day to audition for an upcoming theater festival in the area this summer. Afterwards, we all headed to a slew of rehearsals.  When we had our next ten-minute break, BOOM. Big ass line of actors...in the same line. When did that happen!?

This is NOT The Rep. I stole it from the Internet to be dramatic. Because that's what I do as an actor. I do things dramatically for an effect. I also do this in real life. And sometimes I make myself laugh. Right now I am laughing hysterically because I think I'm being clever. (The definition of Actor is not "be dramatic.") End. Scene.

I don't get excited about auditioning because I know that there are massive amounts of skill and talent that already exist in my industry. Add to that the reality that sometimes my youth, or skill, or look simply does not comply with what a director envisions. But to see that actors older and more esteemed than myself are officially in competition with me, or I with them, is odd. It's a part of the job.

And I believe that this is why I strive to create, and write, and produce, things. I am drawn to the idea that I can make something tangible for myself and for others. I don't have to clamor, I can have it. . There are so many stories that haven't been told,  I know my hasn't. So when it comes to auditioning, I like being reminded, that's it's time to create again.