Thanks Facebook: One Hilarious (non/maybe) Coping Mechanism

If April showers bring May flowers, then June brings.... heat.

So it's June. And I live in America. So I'm hurting. Many are heated. A lot. I have had numerous discussions about it and will continue to do so because talking brings awareness and hiding does not. Yet still, it's difficult for me to write an opus about it all. There's a reason I decided not to be an African-American Studies major. It's tiring to hear all the time: yes in this country... you TOTALLY have the short-end of the stick and now let's talk about that for several semesters. And then you re/member/realize that... I will never be able to forget/breathe/live/swim....I'm spent. And people pretending like things aren't messed or that they don't have the power to help change it is all kinds of... to quote a badass gone to soon "What kind of fuckery is this." -Amy Winehouse.  Maybe people do that as a coping mechanism... but that's not right because.... (cue coping mechanism...)

One of the things I DID LIKE this month (at first) was this viral tag on Facebook that said

Neat huh?! (Who says "neat, huh?" anymore?) Well, I was all #teamnochill and decided to upgrade what was a one-off challenge and turned it into a month long challenge because I'm late with the spring fitness regime (yes, I know it's June and technically summer) and my bicep/tricep game is non-existent. Like the Cavaliers offense. Oh snap! (I think I chose the right team to throw that reference too. Right? I'm on trend? We say "On trend" now in sports right?)

And then all my friends did this

...should I take this a bit of underhand shade a la Dowager, Countess Grantham? 

But I shall chronicle: Please read this as if you were Tom Hanks in Castaway

Day 1: July 22nd (technically I should have started this challenge on July 12th. Don't sue me.)

• Post rehearsal/tech re-staging. Rehearsal = fun. Outdoor rehearsal = fun (but sweaty)
• Showered. Past midnight. I am remembering challenge to day later.
• Youtube. Because duh.
• Why youtube no streaming like good youtube should?
• 5 mins. 10 minutes. 15 minutes. Still waiting for Youtube. I love you.
• Are we on a "break."
• Fine youtube. I will do push-ups. 
• 42 "Push-Ups" in (Doing "modified" push-ups.)
• 47 push-ups. CRAMP IN RIGHT TRICEP. It's working. Wait... why left tricep no return favor? I think I'm doing them wrong.
• Why did I stop to breathe!? Now harder to restart. Life Lesson. Push-up challenge already working to better my personhood. I congratulate myself internally. I shame myself internally for being conceited.
• 62 Push-ups. Challenge completed
• I make blog post to make people laugh and to teach and to inspire. I fulfill my personal mission statement for day. 
• I am woman. Roar. 

Auditioning: The Shit That Don't Quit

Lessssbehonesssst, auditioning scary. The only times I enjoy auditioning are...

1. When I literally give no f****. 
2. When I KNOW that I am soooo wrong for the part (all male, or all white, or all tappers, or all whatever I am not and the likelihood of them casting me in say... Funny Girl is slim to none... and therefore I (literally and figuratively, all-up-and-in-that audition room give not a one).

I mean, I understand the necessity of auditioning. How else is the world supposed to see my work, especially in a new market. In all the ways I feel confident about what I can do, there are just as many ways that I can still learn. And with time, the logic goes that I'll ripen. That being said, it floors me that veteran actors have to audition. Correction: when I see a line of veteran, super-talented actors, standing in line to audition. A line... that I am also in. When did that happen?

The Rep has fantastic facilities and I get to use them for a year. (Thanks guys!) The Rep also allows local theater companies to hold their auditions in the building's rehearsal halls. On one particular evening, due to the schedule, my cohort and I were given time slots early in the day to audition for an upcoming theater festival in the area this summer. Afterwards, we all headed to a slew of rehearsals.  When we had our next ten-minute break, BOOM. Big ass line of actors...in the same line. When did that happen!?

This is NOT The Rep. I stole it from the Internet to be dramatic. Because that's what I do as an actor. I do things dramatically for an effect. I also do this in real life. And sometimes I make myself laugh. Right now I am laughing hysterically because I think I'm being clever. (The definition of Actor is not "be dramatic.") End. Scene.

I don't get excited about auditioning because I know that there are massive amounts of skill and talent that already exist in my industry. Add to that the reality that sometimes my youth, or skill, or look simply does not comply with what a director envisions. But to see that actors older and more esteemed than myself are officially in competition with me, or I with them, is odd. It's a part of the job.

And I believe that this is why I strive to create, and write, and produce, things. I am drawn to the idea that I can make something tangible for myself and for others. I don't have to clamor, I can have it. . There are so many stories that haven't been told,  I know my hasn't. So when it comes to auditioning, I like being reminded, that's it's time to create again.

Save Ya Rep: Working in Repertory Theater

Working in repertory theater for the Houston Shakespeare Festival was an eye-opening experience. We worked on two very different shows at the same time, Antony & Cleopatra and As You Like It switching back and forth each day spending the first week of rehearsal on AYLI and the second on A&C. On our last day of tech, which is a beast in of itself, one of our directors mentioned it had technically only been our 14th day rehearsing that show. WTF!!!! Are you serious.

These two shows could not have been more different. To be honest, on the days when I know I am to frolic in the land of Egypt... although I'm done up to the I was so nervous. "Antony & Cleopatra" is an absolute beast. It was fun yet hard. With each new performance, as usual, I got more comfortable. Never in my life have I shown that much skin for that many people. I think I did alright. Whatcha think?

Yours Truly working it as Charmian in 'Antony & Cleopatra'

As for As You Like It. Boy did I love playing Phebe. What a firecracker! If I'm honest, I wasn't always quite sure why people were laughing at what I was doing but I'm sure that a part of it was  because of how much my Silvius and I were in contrast to one another but also because neither of us relinquished our overall objectives. (Ick. Actor speak. My apologies ya'll). But, I'm thinking... maybe it's not my business to know why the audience laughs, but just trust what I do. The director and my scene partners are taking care of it. If I just commit to my goal and point of view, I'm golden.

Me as Phebe really wanting some Ganymede. Ha

What working in repertory theater setting really helps me work on was on how well one must rehearse, how to be efficient with time, and how to juggle two things at once. Having to continually balance two realities, and commit to telling an honest and committed story was arduous and rewarding. Even the more established actors would comment on how out of practice there were in the repertory setting. It was such a wonderful exercise in time management, multi-tasking, and so much more. I'll be heading off to Milwaukee Repertory Theater to do much of the same. It'll be exhausting to say the least, but hey, get to act for a living, God willing. I couldn't be luckier.

Ragtime @ Milwaukee Rep - First Weeks

This is a long time coming, but it was in my cue, so I thought I'd go ahead and hit update.

And from Houston Shakespeare Festival... I moved briskly to the Milwaukee Repertory Theater to continue my tenure as a professional actor. OMG?! WTF?! SERIOUSLY. Ok so... Officially, I am given the title 'Artistic Intern Company Member"... or something like that. Whatever. What it means is that I get to act...professionally...for a season. Which I've been reminded, by many of the professional actors working with whom I'm working, is an amazing opportunity. There are so many things I can discuss about my experiences thus far (and need to.. the good... the bad, but what I want to focus on are these amazing people and the rehearsal!

The first show of the season is 'Ragtime' and if you haven't seen it before, you are definitely missing out one of the best theatrical experiences of a lifetime. All of that corny-hokey-it-changed-my-life people talk about.. happens in this show.

I loved just getting into the rehearsal process. The artistic team behind this show is wonderfully gifted and generous. I've grown so much in just the ... 10 days (man does it actually feel like 3 weeks) since I've been here. From the brilliant choreographer, to the amazing dance captain, to the intelligent director to the... OMG. Yeah not enough time. 

I can just say that as an actor, I was thrilled moving into the rehearsal space and getting to sing, speak, and dance. And given this city's history, It's gonna be an amazing show. 

#eek

Joining A Biker Gang?: Motorcycles in Milwaukee

Milwaukee is apparently the city of festivals. There is always something going on; seriously, every week. I expect fireworks 1-3 times a week. It's kinda like heaven for a fireworks junkee like myself. My evening walks from 12 hour rehearsals welcome the spectacle. (Although I'm fairly certain that come winter time the fireworks and festivals will end and I'll just be sad about how cold it is. Wait, it snows here. This Texas girl will have snow! Wait... I don't think I have any appropriate winter attire... crap). Refocusing in 5 ... 4 ... 3...2...

Anyway, what makes Milwaukee's being the city of festivals super cool is that this past week, since Harley-Davidson was founded here, the brand held its 110th anniversary celebration here. Translation = The city was o'errun with biker gangs. The lawn in front of the building where I'm being housed was turned into a parking lot... and tailgating central. The lawn... the nice stuff they take pictures of for the brochure. LOL.  This is the view from outside my work. It does them no justice.

The entire city hosts thousands of bikers from all over the continent (I'm choosing to say continent because if you brought your bike from Hong Kong to Milwaukee I take issue with your mental state and how your prioritize). Milwaukee completely caters to the celebrants! Miraculously, new (free) parking spaces miraculously appear, drinking in public is given a side-eye by the authorities, streets even shutdown for.... wait for it... a biker parade.

The life of a biker must be kind of fun. The camaraderie, the delight that arrives from being a rebel, having wind blow through you hair. Personally, I thought it was pretty cool. I, however, definitely noticed that a number of my colleagues moods changed to a slightly more super-stank-than-normal-frankness and temperament due to the dramatically changed soundscape of the city. Hahaha. But, me I enjoyed it.

That is until I saw a bike with a confederate flag on it. Yea, Whomp. whomp. Next festival please.