SXSW 2015: Fangirling and Inspiration-Hunting

So, It's my first SXSW.

I'm uber excited.

Can you tell? (Mind you... I have like 1 or 2 days free days in which I can actually participate but...)

IT'S ONE BIGASS ARTS FESTIVAL in a state I was born and raised in and went to grad school in and I haven't ever fucking been!? WTH. I judge myself. I spent the early afternoon waiting in line sweating, feeling nervous, getting overwhelmed by the throngs of people that I've never seen in this city before, trying to figure out if it was actually going to happen. As if I didn't belong.

And after a bit of a wait, and more wait, followed by some stern eye shade at mofos trying to ump ahead and cut because that's how things sometimes go in life (namaste, I need to remember that for the future), I was awarded my first little humble free SXSW film wristband.

I felt like Charlie with his little golden ticket. #Goober #DontCare My employers gave me the choice of choosing between a film and music wristband and I chose film, much to their surprise. For a second I thought I was being whack but then I remembered crowds aren't always the safest for my kind. (I dare you to comment about what you think I mean by that). But whatever, I'm a budding media mogul. I need to be bouncing around my colleagues and get inspired. Isn't it cute?!

I left the convention center thinking two major things.

1. Man, I need to (continue) to make my own shit and don't self-promote it. If  I'm not speaking for myself, who will? And also, if I'm obsessing and overwhelmed by a sea of new faces at this immense cultural event, I won't make it. There just too much damn competition that way. Too many people "to beat out." But if I'm thinking, this is a neat idea, let's go shoot/write/produce/perform this real quick. Then voila, content created and I am the master of my own universe. 
2. Thought Deux - Fuck it! I'm buying an all-access pass for my birthday. Why the hell not? So many other people do. Why do I need to wait around to get a hookup, for someone else to give me something? I mean hookups are great but I can do all bad by my own. (I'm starting to feel like I sound like a 90s romance novel that's been stuck on the shelves of Wal-Mart for way toooo long. You know what I'm talking about?)

I can make my own shit and I should surround myself by other people who do as well. I knew I was on the right mental train of thought when I nabbed some cool swag. I mean how can I pass up a chance to get some inspo from "Maven/Mogul/Artist/Creator/BadAss AVA DUVERNAY?! Let's go! 

Side Note: Ya'll know when I tried to ask for a map they low-key shaded me and said, "well you should have it with your badge and your grab bag." Bump that. I have google map app and wifi and I can do bad all my myself. (Ok I need to retire that phrase for at least 3 months.) 

Oh yeah....Why do I feel like I'm not telling the complete truth about "going to SXSW":

• Do I have access to special events before other people? Yes. 
• Did I get this access for free? Yes. 
• Do I have access to everything that SXSW has to offer? No. 
• Would I be able to do it all even if I had? Hell-to-the-naw. Ain't nobody gots time for that. Literally

But who fucking cares! Let's experience some art and engage with it!

"Thank You 10" - Conversations Between Acting

I'm some ways, the early days of rehearsal can feel like the first day of school. There's lots of anxiety yet excitement, nervousness and confidence, self-doubt a midst intense hope. But it's more than just school and I am approaching each new experience as more than just a student.

One of the aspects I've enjoyed the most about my experience with Houston Shakespeare Festival is the talking-to and getting-to-know my fellow artists better. The conversations in of themselves teach me so much about the different paths people take in this field. I've been able to eek out life advice AND steal some really great acting techniques from so many of the more established actors in the casts.

One of the most eye-opening realizations I've had is learning that many of the actors are (a lot) older than they play, and a lot older than I thought they were. I'm glad I can end that misguided perception. Given that truth, and the truth that black don't crack, I think I'm good for at least another 20-30 years.

Another unique thing about these casts... a lot of them are married. Speaking as someone who one day hopes to start a family, this was rather reassuring. You CAN be a performer and have a happy married life. What's particularly unique about this season is the number of couples there are in the overall artistic team! The guy who plays Antony is married to the director (Leah Gardiner) of Antony & Cleopatra, and Cleopatra is married to Octavius. Aggripa is married to the stage manager of Antony & Cleopatra. Pompey is getting married to someone who used to be in connected to the festival. Enobarbus is married to someone who used to be connected to the show...

and you wouldn't know it because, as a friend in the cast put it, "no one changes their frickin' name anymore!"

Anyway. It's been fun yet hard. I'm much more confident with Phebe of "As You Like it" than Charmian of "Antony & Cleopatra", but that's probably because I've spent more time in/with her  I'm enjoying it all around. I'm looking forward to creating and finding more and more dimensions to both roles. And...how awesome is it that I get paid to do this?! I truly am blessed from above! -Nickclette Izuegbu

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That: Working Amidst Self-Doubt

I am a worrier by nature... well my present nature. I don't think think I was always this way and I certainly hope not to be when I hit 30/35/30. (Everyone always talks about hitting those ages as this amazing time of "don't-give-any-fucks" with such joy and serenity. But that's where I sit now. And I don't like it. I really don't like it. It can be immensely overwhelming to think about how something, someone, some choice from your past may detrimentally affect your future. Hell, by the sheer virtue of my blackness, I may not get a job from some company. And what if I really wanted that job!? Or, the fact that I went to Harvard makes people give me a second glance, as if some institution makes you better? I mean, I'll take that advantage, but that doesn't guarantee me anything. Or, what about that potentially infamous picture that's on Facebook (don't go looking for it) that some "frenemy" won't take down? Or, that one time I.......  Or, the fact that I am pro-choice (not pro-terminate)... but pro-choice and I decide to express the values? So forth and so on. I won't divulge every victory or failure of my past of which in the latter there are many... but you see how my mind works? 

The only solution I've found on my worst day seems trivial... and on my best day seems life- affirming. 

• Say/Pray something to God/Higher Power/Heavens/Universe
• Connecting with good, honest people with whom you can talk and fellowship
• Be outside in nature listening to the little miracles, ie birds chirping, wind blowing, rain drops hitting the ground, bugs trynna bite me (I think I may have been a tree in another lifetime. HA!)
• Writing
• And recite the serenity prayer. Like a lot. Like.. to the point where my shoulders relax. Reminding myself that I can't control everything and attempting to, will surmount in a massive panic attack.

So in the meantime, I'm going to work on things I CAN control, like publishing a book of monologues this fall, and keepin it movin'. Cause when it comes to worry.... "ain't nobody got time for that."

Help Me Edit Episode 1

Hey Guys!

Remember the episodes that I spoke about writing in this post here? Well, I've published episode 1 on Scribd.com! Click the link below. I'd love any feedback from you guys to help me make it better. Let me know what you like, don't like, and are curious about! Let's get editing.

Siblings - Episode 1 - Draft 5 by Nickclette Izuegbu

Guest Bloggers Are A-Comin'!!!!

Hey Guys

Although many of you believe in my inherent genius, I figure two heads are still better than one. Heck, three heads are better than one. There's a lot to be gained from having multiple voices and perspectives come in to conversation with one another. This dialogue allows us question our own beliefs and become more knowledge and aware about the subtle grey areas that represent our cultural consciousness. (Geez, I feel like I'm writing a pair. Ick). As such, in the vein of sharing what "Eaze Way Says," I decided to ask a few of my friends to do the same and become regular guest bloggers! They all have connection to the arts and/or entertainment industry, but they also have interests that extend far beyond my own. It's my belief that this collective sharing will offer some great fellowship and great support.

Writing A Monologue.... Why Try?!

So, my writing/editing session had to be rescheduled and THAT bummed me out. BUT since I know that continually creating work is imperative to my career success and overall trajectory, I am moving on to another new project in the mean time.

If you didn't know, actors, always have to audition. That's the real job, auditioning. If you can imagine constantly having to go on a job interview, sometimes 2 or 3 times in a day...actually don't. That's the annoying bit, especially for me because I just want to act, not clamor to get the chance to do it. But, one of the things that I have learned in my many years of auditioning is that one of the best ways to set myself up for success in an audition is to pick good material that resonates with me. It may speak to my personal experience or it may just scare/excite me in some way. Since I know me best....  why don't I just write with my own monologues? Why don't I! As my friend Mark Brown II told me

"Make the art that you want to make. Be critical later. Some ideas are great on paper and suck in life and some ideas aren't the best on paper but ROCK in real life."

So, my next project will come from that. My inspiration? Music that I love. To be honest, this idea started when I saw a quote from the infamous 1999 summer jam by Sisqo entitled "The Thong Song." You laugh now, but can you imagine a monologue that seriously dealt with the concept of the thong? Or a monologue where the protagonist IS a thong? HAHAHA. I'm cracking myself up just thinking about it.

It may be a tremendous failure, or... it could be my biggest piece of genius. So, let me know what your favorite songs are, and I might make a monologue based on your inspiration. I'm looking to make at least 1 good one but I'll write 10. And in case, if you've forgotten:

Encouraging Others, Encouraging Yourself

It's important to accept that I will, at the core, be who I was born to be. I can make modifications and adjustments as I move on the quest to better myself. However, I should remind myself that I am who I am and shouldn't compare myself or my ambitions to others. I should instead try to be better... the best version of myself and improve on that! That is ehre I will find joy.