7 Life Lessons from Carefree Cardi B

Let's face it, the world feels really tough right now. Folks are walking around this planet purposefully making shit difficult FOR NO REASON because... well some folks are just bullshit people. Some folks have no sense, no compassion, and no sense of joir de curve. Some folks, lack the insight to realize that their bullshit-ass actions can and often do impact other people.

However, despite all of that negativity, some amongst us remain shining beacons of light who continue to laugh unapologetically, scream with abandon, and dance like nobody's watching. Spotlight of carefree joy this week? Rapper Cardi B.

Cardi B is the epitome of a Carefree Black Girl. (And yes, I know she's Dominican. Afro-Latina is a thing. Let's just enjoy this gif she's given to the world).

Why is she so dope? She's basically Rihanna's little sister who just so happened to grow up in the same house as you. She's got all the energy in the world, minimal filter, but all the common sense of her elders. She knows exactly what she wants that there are multiple ways to get it. I mean this she's always wanted to be a rapper but whole-heartedly admits that while she worked towards the dream, she also legitimately worked to pay the bills.
Sense.

She also managed to not only become a breakout star on the reality tv show and cash-cow of Love and Hip Hop New York (never watched it), but also cut the cord before her personal life blew up on TV. Oh, and that show... tell me why she's the only star to make it to the Billboard Pop Charts? Top Ten as we speak.
Sense. Ambition.

She's also genuine and honest, perception be damned. And it works. The access she gives the world, her frankness and humor... all of it is refreshing and comforting. She's not packaged (yet). She's offers a ton of wisdom, playfulness, depth (yes,... depth). She's not about being perfect. She knows that she doesn't have to be. She has embraced herself and for folks like me, that's ... amazing. 
Sense. Ambition. Self-Love.

She's basically the best. Bodak Yellow has a great hook. And I'm here for any and all success she has in this ridiculous cultural climate in which we find ourselves. Now, below I've curated some great gifs of Cardi B so that you can collect your entire life. You're welcome.

Lesson 1: Be Forgiveness but Hold People Accountable

Lesson 2: Invest, invest, invest.

Lesson 3: Always Follow Through and Set Clear Expectations

Lesson 4: Be Consistent & Honor Your Feelings

Lesson 5: Self-Care is Paramount

Lesson 6: Destroy Hegemonic Structures & Social Norms

Lesson 7: Be Empathetic and Have Patience

And of course, I present to you "Bodak Yellow."

For Me Read:

Carefree Black Girl Spotlight: Solange Knowles

Nneka the Uber Driver Parody

5 Podcasts to Listen to Before Summer's Over

Clapbacks for When People Try to Silence You

Greetings

To the asshole who told me to shut-up and
     to the fake friend who told me to sit down 'cause I probably wasn't an expert and  
         to the do-nothing-all-day stranger who told me that I "should go back to (insert verb) and leave the (insert different verb) to "real" folks,

Fuck you.

Fuck you and your bullshit parameters regarding who is allowed to speak. No, you do not get a seat at the table in my head with your good-for-nothing metric stick of legitimacy. You don't get to "put me in my place." Belittling me into silence does not work here.

Signed
Most (Dis)respectfully Not Yours

Me.

Now,

To the Young Person Fighting for Your Voice in this World (Read: this letter is really for me)

Speak. Even if you have made a mistake, or two, or a thousand, speak. Even if you stumble to find the right adjectives, adverbs, or clauses to describe what you're feeling, what you saw, or what you need, speak. Even if you are only a single drop in a sea of a million, a powerful million, a dangerous million, speak.

Don't let others quell your voice. You have a right to an opinion. Why? What makes you so special? Because opinion,  opinion you cannot stop from forming. It is forged in experience. It is forged with intention. It is forged because you exist.

Those thoughts that ruminate in the recesses of your mind? Yeah, those can't be stolen. Let your voice be your victor. You've already had to fight to convince yourself that your voice matters. You've had to deal with your own judgmental thoughts and break down the negative speak in your head. Know this sis: the world is already good at tearing you down. Don't help them. The speak in your head should be positive. Prop yourself up with the pillars of experience and intuition. You're awareness is astute, don't question it.

Yes, you will make many mistakes on the way to self-actualization and maturity. Those mistakes may feel like they are haunting you something fierce. That's okay. Use them as lessons. As armor. Armor that you've earned and forged in the heat of experience. No, you will never be impenetrable, nor are you supposed to be. Nothing in this world is. Even rocks are warn down by steady persistent streams. And like flowing water, so too do you "simple" words have power, power to wear down, power to win, power to heal, power to illuminate truth and cast out darkness. Power.

Don't let your past keep you from speaking. Do your research. Take a step forward. Your words are needed.

So,
Speak
Speak up.
Speak up girl.

Signed,
You


PS. This letter is only for people with common sense and good home training. The rest of you? Please go read and book and go for a jog first. (See what I mean about the world being negative and stank).

The Best (Basic) Chicken Recipe

"Sh*t happens. Life happens. Chicken happens." I had to whisper those very words to myself over and over again after consuming a very sad piece of chicken the other night. How did this happen? Why did this happen? Why was it happening to me? Bad chicken shouldn't happen to good people. I'm a good person right? I've made mistakes, but this chicken... no, that was cruel.

And I tried not to dwell. When life gives you bad chicken make chicken salad? Pot pie? Tears? What do I do with this? Like... of all the proteins to mess up... you picked chicken? Really!?? Like you have to go out of your way to fuck up chicken, not poultry, but chicken! 

If you mess up chicken, I want to hold you, comfort you, speak life into your being. I want to nurture you before someone else meets you and your sad-abusive-cooking ways. If you fuck up chicken, everyone else you encounter will look at you like... "but how though?" A well-trained therapist may ask you "but why though?"

It's not my favorite animal protein by I really appreciate it. Why? Because it's very hard to feel bad/sad/mad/hurt/depressed/ guilty while eating chicken. For me anyway. Chicken is important to Nigerians, chicken (or an adjacent poultry cousin, big ups to hen. If you've never had hen prepared by a Nigerian... shurrup and go getcho life). Even when the chicken is straight up fried, I struggle to feel negatively. Negative health factors? What are those?! In my mind, I'm eating lean meat. End of story. Instead, my mind thinks "well, you could be eating red meat and that's way worse, so you are all the way good!" And thirdly, of many points, Chicken is also one of the more inexpensive proteins to consume. Even at my leanest of days/paychecks, drumsticks are here to save the day. Hello!

Chicken is the every man meat. Every culture cooks it. Every market sells it out. And there are so many ways to cook it. You know that scene where Bubba talks to Forrest Gump about all the ways to make shrimp? It's a lie. That scene is supposed to be for all the ways there is to make chicken. 

So, to prevent future travesties, below is a simple preparation method. I did not say best, I said simplest! Note - you'll need a consistent heat source, salt, pepper, oil, a solid cooking vessel (ovenproof skillet or baking tray, and your favorite cut of chicken.  Start with a thigh--no don't be flashy. START WITH A THIGH - it's got the most fat, is the most tender, and thus, will taste the best. Let's go.

BASIC AF BAKED CHICKEN

• Heat oven to something hot (not boiling. Something like 400° F.)
• Remove chicken out of packaging and clean in sink (with water, not soap). Throw away packaging. 
• Grease ovenproof skillet or baking sheet with oil. 
• Season dem tighs with salt and pepper (and whatever else you want).
• Put deliciousness in oven, skin-side down, and let cook until brown/crisp (about 10-12 minutes... so the first portion of a 30-min sitcom). Rotate to other side.
• Cut off oven
• Transfer chicken to mouth
• (PS. It's okay to let Pinterest be your guide. Here are some of my faves)

3 Ways To Be The Perfect Aunt

 Folx is birthin' babies. Left. Right. Front. Back... someone in my life is either with with child or has recently produced one, the closest of which being one of my dear sisters. And with a nugget (my term of affection for a baby) comes responsibility. Lots of it. So...if I've birthed NO babies, why do I find myself in a position of quasi-shephardship? 

Why is this my problem?

This should not make me anxious.  I am, after all, the oldest of a large tribe (oldest of six. I'm Nigerian - this is normal for us). I should be used to it by now. But, something about rearing the next generation and the weight of this added (read: unrequested) responsibility got to me. Fortunately, I've instituted a few practices to ease the anxiety AND win the competition of best muthaf*ckin aunt--yes, it is a thing. 

• Staring Game: perfect your staring game. Whether the child likes you or naw, staring works. And by work, I mean they are instantly transfixed and captivated by your giganticness. Add repetitive laughter, neck rolls/pops, and one-word syllabic sounds that start with consonants, and the object of your attention will laugh uproariously. 
  BONUS POINTS if this laugh happens in front of the parents. 

• Pass It. Knowing when to pass the progeny to a grandparent, aunt/uncle, or whomever... is considered respected, is gold. You'll be deemed loving not needy. Warm not suffocating. Responsible not power-hungry. You'll avoid the nappie changes and cries that sound like hell, while still creating enough memories to embarrass your niece/nephew. BONUS POINTS if you avoid a blowout.

• Food: Have food (and water) in the form the child can consume. And make it bland as f**k. One need not be blamed for a pepper-induced screaming fit. BONUS POINTS if you remember to pack stuff for yourself. 

Basically, be there and be present. In the end, it's not all *on* you. The fallback/blame is reserved for the parents (then maybe the grandparents or godparents, in that order... I think.) 

Happy rearing.

-N

"Thank You 10" - Conversations Between Acting

I'm some ways, the early days of rehearsal can feel like the first day of school. There's lots of anxiety yet excitement, nervousness and confidence, self-doubt a midst intense hope. But it's more than just school and I am approaching each new experience as more than just a student.

One of the aspects I've enjoyed the most about my experience with Houston Shakespeare Festival is the talking-to and getting-to-know my fellow artists better. The conversations in of themselves teach me so much about the different paths people take in this field. I've been able to eek out life advice AND steal some really great acting techniques from so many of the more established actors in the casts.

One of the most eye-opening realizations I've had is learning that many of the actors are (a lot) older than they play, and a lot older than I thought they were. I'm glad I can end that misguided perception. Given that truth, and the truth that black don't crack, I think I'm good for at least another 20-30 years.

Another unique thing about these casts... a lot of them are married. Speaking as someone who one day hopes to start a family, this was rather reassuring. You CAN be a performer and have a happy married life. What's particularly unique about this season is the number of couples there are in the overall artistic team! The guy who plays Antony is married to the director (Leah Gardiner) of Antony & Cleopatra, and Cleopatra is married to Octavius. Aggripa is married to the stage manager of Antony & Cleopatra. Pompey is getting married to someone who used to be in connected to the festival. Enobarbus is married to someone who used to be connected to the show...

and you wouldn't know it because, as a friend in the cast put it, "no one changes their frickin' name anymore!"

Anyway. It's been fun yet hard. I'm much more confident with Phebe of "As You Like it" than Charmian of "Antony & Cleopatra", but that's probably because I've spent more time in/with her  I'm enjoying it all around. I'm looking forward to creating and finding more and more dimensions to both roles. And...how awesome is it that I get paid to do this?! I truly am blessed from above! -Nickclette Izuegbu

Writing A Monologue.... Why Try?!

So, my writing/editing session had to be rescheduled and THAT bummed me out. BUT since I know that continually creating work is imperative to my career success and overall trajectory, I am moving on to another new project in the mean time.

If you didn't know, actors, always have to audition. That's the real job, auditioning. If you can imagine constantly having to go on a job interview, sometimes 2 or 3 times in a day...actually don't. That's the annoying bit, especially for me because I just want to act, not clamor to get the chance to do it. But, one of the things that I have learned in my many years of auditioning is that one of the best ways to set myself up for success in an audition is to pick good material that resonates with me. It may speak to my personal experience or it may just scare/excite me in some way. Since I know me best....  why don't I just write with my own monologues? Why don't I! As my friend Mark Brown II told me

"Make the art that you want to make. Be critical later. Some ideas are great on paper and suck in life and some ideas aren't the best on paper but ROCK in real life."

So, my next project will come from that. My inspiration? Music that I love. To be honest, this idea started when I saw a quote from the infamous 1999 summer jam by Sisqo entitled "The Thong Song." You laugh now, but can you imagine a monologue that seriously dealt with the concept of the thong? Or a monologue where the protagonist IS a thong? HAHAHA. I'm cracking myself up just thinking about it.

It may be a tremendous failure, or... it could be my biggest piece of genius. So, let me know what your favorite songs are, and I might make a monologue based on your inspiration. I'm looking to make at least 1 good one but I'll write 10. And in case, if you've forgotten:

A Problem With Kickstarter

As an up-and-coming media mogul, which I can say because this is my blog and I can say what I want,  utilizing Kickstarter, and sites like it, to help fund projects and ventures I have in mind is something I'm definitely thinking about doing. I've seen it help fund projects for friends and I think it's great. You can tap into a supporter fan-base to help you fund and remain in creative control of your idea. It supports that old-age adage "I have the toys, so I decide when we play" or as the famous song goes "It's my partyI can cry if I want to."

Most recently the most successful Kickstarter was that of producer Rob Thomas to fund a Veronica Mars movie to follow-up the now defunct show. The success of this project was greeted with a surge of attention to Kickstarter by more than just "the little people" and has been embraced by celebrities. I, don't necessarily have a problem with that. It's hard to get a movie made and maintain control if you don't have the fundage (yeah, I made that word up... I think). But not everyone is okay with that.

"Jon Lajoie, one of the stars of FX’s comedy The League was even inspired to start a faux-Kickstarter campaign earlier this week, featuring a searing video that satires Thomas, Braff and the other celebrities that have begun to turn to their audiences for direct financial backing." -Buzzfeed 
Read the rest of the article here.

Check it out below. I think it's hilarious and won't lie... feels like a little bit of truth. #preach