"Sh*t happens. Life happens. Chicken happens." I had to whisper those very words to myself over and over again after consuming a very sad piece of chicken the other night. How did this happen? Why did this happen? Why was it happening to me? Bad chicken shouldn't happen to good people. I'm a good person right? I've made mistakes, but this chicken... no, that was cruel.
And I tried not to dwell. When life gives you bad chicken make chicken salad? Pot pie? Tears? What do I do with this? Like... of all the proteins to mess up... you picked chicken? Really!?? Like you have to go out of your way to fuck up chicken, not poultry, but chicken!
If you mess up chicken, I want to hold you, comfort you, speak life into your being. I want to nurture you before someone else meets you and your sad-abusive-cooking ways. If you fuck up chicken, everyone else you encounter will look at you like... "but how though?" A well-trained therapist may ask you "but why though?"
It's not my favorite animal protein by I really appreciate it. Why? Because it's very hard to feel bad/sad/mad/hurt/depressed/ guilty while eating chicken. For me anyway. Chicken is important to Nigerians, chicken (or an adjacent poultry cousin, big ups to hen. If you've never had hen prepared by a Nigerian... shurrup and go getcho life). Even when the chicken is straight up fried, I struggle to feel negatively. Negative health factors? What are those?! In my mind, I'm eating lean meat. End of story. Instead, my mind thinks "well, you could be eating red meat and that's way worse, so you are all the way good!" And thirdly, of many points, Chicken is also one of the more inexpensive proteins to consume. Even at my leanest of days/paychecks, drumsticks are here to save the day. Hello!
Chicken is the every man meat. Every culture cooks it. Every market sells it out. And there are so many ways to cook it. You know that scene where Bubba talks to Forrest Gump about all the ways to make shrimp? It's a lie. That scene is supposed to be for all the ways there is to make chicken.
So, to prevent future travesties, below is a simple preparation method. I did not say best, I said simplest! Note - you'll need a consistent heat source, salt, pepper, oil, a solid cooking vessel (ovenproof skillet or baking tray, and your favorite cut of chicken. Start with a thigh--no don't be flashy. START WITH A THIGH - it's got the most fat, is the most tender, and thus, will taste the best. Let's go.
BASIC AF BAKED CHICKEN
- Heat oven to something hot (not boiling. Something like 400° F.)
- Remove chicken out of packaging and clean in sink (with water, not soap). Throw away packaging.
- Grease ovenproof skillet or baking sheet with oil.
- Season dem tighs with salt and pepper (and whatever else you want).
- Put deliciousness in oven, skin-side down, and let cook until brown/crisp (about 10-12 minutes... so the first portion of a 30-min sitcom). Rotate to other side.
- Cut off oven
- Transfer chicken to mouth
- (PS. It's okay to let Pinterest be your guide. Here are some of my faves)
