advice

7 Life Lessons from Carefree Cardi B by *nickels*

Let's face it, the world feels really tough right now. Folks are walking around this planet purposefully making shit difficult FOR NO REASON because... well some folks are just bullshit people. Some folks have no sense, no compassion, and no sense of joir de curve. Some folks, lack the insight to realize that their bullshit-ass actions can and often do impact other people.

However, despite all of that negativity, some amongst us remain shining beacons of light who continue to laugh unapologetically, scream with abandon, and dance like nobody's watching. Spotlight of carefree joy this week? Rapper Cardi B.


Cardi B is the epitome of a Carefree Black Girl. (And yes, I know she's Dominican. Afro-Latina is a thing. Let's just enjoy this gif she's given to the world).

Why is she so dope? She's basically Rihanna's little sister who just so happened to grow up in the same house as you. She's got all the energy in the world, minimal filter, but all the common sense of her elders. She knows exactly what she wants that there are multiple ways to get it. I mean this she's always wanted to be a rapper but whole-heartedly admits that while she worked towards the dream, she also legitimately worked to pay the bills.
Sense.

She also managed to not only become a breakout star on the reality tv show and cash-cow of Love and Hip Hop New York (never watched it), but also cut the cord before her personal life blew up on TV. Oh, and that show... tell me why she's the only star to make it to the Billboard Pop Charts? Top Ten as we speak.
Sense. Ambition.

She's also genuine and honest, perception be damned. And it works. The access she gives the world, her frankness and humor... all of it is refreshing and comforting. She's not packaged (yet). She's offers a ton of wisdom, playfulness, depth (yes,... depth). She's not about being perfect. She knows that she doesn't have to be. She has embraced herself and for folks like me, that's ... amazing. 
Sense. Ambition. Self-Love.



She's basically the best. Bodak Yellow has a great hook. And I'm here for any and all success she has in this ridiculous cultural climate in which we find ourselves. Now, below I've curated some great gifs of Cardi B so that you can collect your entire life. You're welcome.


Lesson 1: Be Forgiveness but Hold People Accountable

Lesson 2: Invest, invest, invest.

Lesson 3: Always Follow Through and Set Clear Expectations

Lesson 4: Be Consistent & Honor Your Feelings

Lesson 5: Self-Care is Paramount

Lesson 6: Destroy Hegemonic Structures & Social Norms

Lesson 7: Be Empathetic and Have Patience

And of course, I present to you "Bodak Yellow."


For Me Read:

Carefree Black Girl Spotlight: Solange Knowles

Nneka the Uber Driver Parody

5 Podcasts to Listen to Before Summer's Over

My Mistress is Called... (or, When Inspiration Fails You) by *nickels*

I was thinking about the nature of inspiration one day when the idea of a haiku series came to me. I thought about how powerful it is that so many of us wait for inspiration. We wait on her (I say her because all of the most powerful forces tend to be female. That, and English vocabulary lacks the fullness to describe the intangible quality of ephemeral forces.) So yes, I was fascinated by the fact that so many of us just sit and wait for inspiration to do begin the doing of things. I was also intrigued by the reality that so many of us not only want to be inspired but also want to inspire others. I mean we sometimes refuse to work, or find an excuse not to make because "I'm not inspired. I don't have inspiration!"

I get it. To be in the zone of inspiration. To have things just manifest out of you, in your head, or in your hands, wherever your creation tools are (pencil, hammer, whatever you use to make great works).

It's euphoric. It's orgasmic. It feels otherworldly.

When you're in it, really in the thick of it, everything else in the world disappears. Fuck time. Fuck obligations. Fuck manners. Inspiration has you and the moment feels like your levitating in a space between times.

But what about those times when you aren't in this magical realm? When she's not visited you? When it's a regular day, but you still are tasked with creating? You are still a vessel, are you not? You still have the urge to create, do you not?

I imagine that Inspiration waits for us who dote on her, she wants us to work for her (attention). Much like work begets work, work seduces a visitation from Inspiration. I imagine that she wants the craftsmen who desire her presence to be so skilled so they can speak on it! #GameRecognizeGameSis.

So, while we wait for her to bless us, and don't act like you won't, because you will---we all love to be inspired and we all love to inspire, I challenge you to keep working. So that when she comes, it's glorious.

Yes, I do realize the double entendre. Your point?)

***

My Mistress is Called


My mistress is called.
In faith, she calls me her muse.
But in truth, she's mine.

She's Inspiration.
Yes, Inspiration itself,
she is my mistress.

I call my mistress
my all-consuming ruler
Then I wait. Nothing.


Now, in her absence,
steadily I move, for she
rewards all efforts

Inspiration comes.
and she sits and laughs at me.
I am enchanted.


My hands, too slow and
ill-equipped to document
this visitation.

But still, I persist.
Inspiration, she's fleeting.
What to say? Do? Write?

Hurry before she...
Inspiration leaves. I'm left
hollowed out by her.


Capricious she is.
Time? Is lost doting on her.
Effort... she rewards.

In her absence, work.
Tis my discipline she loves.
Discipline draws her.

So, I work, I must
An opus will bring her near
She is my mistress



PHOTO CREDIT - Antonio Mora is a beast. Technique: Double exposure. More on his work here.

Definition of mistress:

1:  a woman who has power, authority, or ownership; a tutor who has achieved mastery in some field.

Definition of inspiration:

1:  a : divine influence, power, or action on a person, intellect, or emotions
2 :  the act of drawing in; specifically --- the drawing of air into the lungs

How To Win Friends Doing Petty Things by *nickels*

I have a friend. She's smart, learn-ed, with a Masters degrees to boot. She's also funny, generous, and extremely open-minded. She's the kinda friend that you confess your sins too because she's not gonna give you the side-eye right away. By all intents and purposes, she is a paragon of empathy and intellect. God bless her because this kind of homie is hard to come by

And yet, we still argue about petty sh*t. 

Define petty"of little importance; trivial."

What were we arguing about, you ask? Picture it, USA, 20-something-something---
(Lights up on a cafe. Two friends are hanging out having a grand ole time.)

FRIEND
Irregardless of the situation, she really shouldn't have done that. Don't you agree?

ME
 ...Irregardless is not a word.

FRIEND
Yes it is.

ME
No it's not.

FRIEND
Yes, it is.

ME
No, it's not.

FRIEND
... Yes it is!

ME
Just because you yell it doesn't make it true.

FRIEND
Just because you went to Harvard---

ME
While I didn't actually walk away in all my Viola Davis-esque glory, this exchange regarding "irregardless" went on until I, being the non-petty one, dropped it. That's right, we argued about bullsh*t that does not matter. Was I still mildy ticked that she didn't take my advice? Yes. Doesn't she know I'm trying to save her from herself? Doesn't she know how smart I am? Doesn't she see my degrees dagnabit? Why won't she stop being basic? Imma take the high road and drop it. .... Irregardless is still not a word. (Yes, I know what's she's trying to say, I'm not a stickler for language to the point where I don't acknowledge simple context. I'm also not here for supporting the patriarchy and the forced use of one way of the English language. I really didn't think the argument was going to go this far. But the bear was poked... what can you do? We had to wait for the food to come out in order for the white flags (read: table napkins) before a truce could be formed.)

A fight like this shouldn't end a friendship. Luckily, ours didn't. But, there are friendships that have been lost over seemingly simple things... inconsequential things... petty things or, the little things. 

Why should the little things matter? Little things, or a lack of respect for the little things denotes a lack of respect for the person who cares about those little things. As in, you don't care enough to do something little... simple... petty. As in, I sacrificed a whole lot of shit for you, and you didn't respect me enough... to do something simple that would have meant the world to me. Yes... friendships (and other great loves) have been lost over petty shit. No matter how shaky or solid the foundation.

So, make sure you care about the little things. It's the bare minimum you could do. The basic. The petty

But for when you *want* to practice your petty game read below. (Yes this is petty. So. What).

                               Petty Practice

  • Whether irregardless is a word. (It's not).
  • What other people chose to spend *their* money on.
  • If tomatoes, avocados, or cucumbers are fruits.
  • Can you clean this up? Why haven't you cleaned this up?
  • What did you do all day... instead of cleaning up?
  • What do you want to eat for dinner?
  • What do you want to watch/go see?
  • Other people's mom's cooking.