My Mistress is Called... (or, When Inspiration Fails You)

I was thinking about the nature of inspiration one day when the idea of a haiku series came to me. I thought about how powerful it is that so many of us wait for inspiration. We wait on her (I say her because all of the most powerful forces tend to be female. That, and English vocabulary lacks the fullness to describe the intangible quality of ephemeral forces.) So yes, I was fascinated by the fact that so many of us just sit and wait for inspiration to do begin the doing of things. I was also intrigued by the reality that so many of us not only want to be inspired but also want to inspire others. I mean we sometimes refuse to work, or find an excuse not to make because "I'm not inspired. I don't have inspiration!"

I get it. To be in the zone of inspiration. To have things just manifest out of you, in your head, or in your hands, wherever your creation tools are (pencil, hammer, whatever you use to make great works).

It's euphoric. It's orgasmic. It feels otherworldly.

When you're in it, really in the thick of it, everything else in the world disappears. Fuck time. Fuck obligations. Fuck manners. Inspiration has you and the moment feels like your levitating in a space between times.

But what about those times when you aren't in this magical realm? When she's not visited you? When it's a regular day, but you still are tasked with creating? You are still a vessel, are you not? You still have the urge to create, do you not?

I imagine that Inspiration waits for us who dote on her, she wants us to work for her (attention). Much like work begets work, work seduces a visitation from Inspiration. I imagine that she wants the craftsmen who desire her presence to be so skilled so they can speak on it! #GameRecognizeGameSis.

So, while we wait for her to bless us, and don't act like you won't, because you will---we all love to be inspired and we all love to inspire, I challenge you to keep working. So that when she comes, it's glorious.

Yes, I do realize the double entendre. Your point?)

***

My Mistress is Called

My mistress is called.

In faith, she calls me her muse.

But in truth, she's mine.

She's Inspiration.

Yes, Inspiration itself,

she is my mistress.

I call my mistress

my all-consuming ruler

Then I wait. Nothing.

Now, in her absence,

steadily I move, for she

rewards all efforts

Inspiration comes.

and she sits and laughs at me.

I am enchanted.

My hands, too slow and

ill-equipped to document

this visitation.

But still, I persist.

Inspiration, she's fleeting.

What to say? Do? Write?

Hurry before she...

Inspiration leaves. I'm left

hollowed out by her.

Capricious she is.

Time? Is lost doting on her.

Effort... she rewards.

In her absence, work.

Tis my discipline she loves.

Discipline draws her.

So, I work, I must

An opus will bring her near

She is my mistress

PHOTO CREDIT - Antonio Mora is a beast. Technique: Double exposure. More on his work here.

Definition of mistress:

1:  a woman who has power, authority, or ownership; a tutor who has achieved mastery in some field.

Definition of inspiration:

1:  a : divine influence, power, or action on a person, intellect, or emotions
2 :  the act of drawing in; specifically --- the drawing of air into the lungs

Theater Hell aka the Student Matinees

The student matinee.

Correction.

The. Dreaded. Student. Matinee.

The Lord is my shepherd I shall not .... There are so many things surrounding a student matinee that go against protocol or standard practices that it's now wonder that so many fear it. Who the hell wants to wake up early in the morning, after an exhausting two-show day that ended just short of midnight for the uncharted waters of the ... 5-18 demographic?! You know, the same demographic that makes folks not want to become a substitute teacher? Not all of us are born with Sister Mary Clarence gumption... or want to have to tap into that "check-a-kid-that-should-have-had-corporal-punishment" strength.

Unlike the geriatric early bird performance (big-ups to AARP), or the rambunctious Friday evening post-work-week crowd aka one shot/two shots/ three shots/ a dollar, or even the appreciative family midday Saturday audience - an early morning student performance is. the. realest.

Bus line wraps around the theater as. It's gonna be an epic performance.

Ask any actor if they're excited for their student matinee and you'll see their eyes glaze over  with apprehension as they mentally go through the following questions:

• Will they cooperate? 
• Will they understand it? 
• Will they talk back? 
• Will they fall asleep? 
• Will they use their phones? 

Even though the same questions exist for a "regular audience" (let's be honest, they can be mad disrespectful as well), there's something about this younger demographic that gives people ulcers.

How do I feel about student matinees?  I. Love. Them.

In my experience, most are experiencing live theater for the first time. For them it's still an exciting novelty. Seeing them react to the show and spit responses to the ensemble is thrilling. They're... still innocent. Receptive and Responsive. Honest and Untamed. They don't yet feel the social pressures of donors and benefactors. Feeling them embrace to the enormity of an epic show in an epic space is humbling. I'm always reminded of my own feelings of awe. Whether it's during the first table-read, aka, the first day of school, or during the tech rehearsals that transform a barren space into a bustling new worlds (both "on-stage" and "off-stage), or even experiencing the lights dim before a show begins, that feeling *never* goes away.

It's magic. It's fascinating. It's everything.

And hearing my young audiences respond to the show, sometimes with the most... worldly of vocabularies (note the euphemism) is eye-opening and inspiring. Student matinees remind me of the birth of my passion for theater and live performance. That's where my desire to be a storyteller came to be. Seeing students have their first taste of what I had excites and rejuvenates me.

Yes, we've got our fair share of nappers -- can you blame them, it's dark and cold in there. And yes, we've got whisperers and live reactions. But dammit, I like performing for the little rascals. They live. THEY MUTHAF*CKIN LIVE. What more would you ask for?

So I promise, never to be afraid, of the matinee. Why? It's gon' be lit.

PS. Hearing a bunch of teenagers lose it over a kiss, or the lights going down is hilarious. I forget that those things were once unchartered territory for as well.

What You Didn't Know about Tony and Olivier Award-Winning Choreographer Stephen Mear

I had the pleasure to sit down and chat with Stephen Mear, the brilliant choreographer of Milwaukee Repertory Theater's current production of Ragtime and boy did we have a great time! He squeezed in some time to meet with me post rehearsal, both of us exhausted, to have a real conversation about art, life, and the pursuit of happiness. As you read, imagine us both laughing hysterically... or rather me... laughing (unattractively) in hysterics. Both in and out of the rehearsal hall, He has taught me so much about performance, work ethic, movement, storytelling, and being a great human being. Little did I know that this wonderful spirit is also a two-time Olivier and one-time Tony award winning choreographer. If you get the chance to work with him, hell talk to him, you are definitely in good hands.

-----

Stephen, what's up? Thanks so much for letting me do this. Well the first thing I wanted to know is, what drew you to dance in the first place?
When I was 3, my mum was a dance teacher at a school. She just used to help out. And so I used to run in and out of the class. And I just joined that way. She never wanted me to. I just chose to do it.

Did you just keep taking classes?
Yeah, and also I'm dyslexic. It was a way I could express myself through dance. So that's why I kind of pursued it more.

You told me that sometimes it goes back and forth with how often travel between the UK and the US. What's your preference?
I like both. I think I'm very lucky, I think I'm so lucky. Oh my God. Most of my work the last few years has been in the UK.

What do you think the difference is between English performers and American performers?
I think [England] has the same amount of talent. They used to say that English people didn't have the talent as much as Americans. I mean [England] fits into Texas three times, so the talent [England] has got is snapped up straight away. Whereas in America there is so much more talent. That's what it is. And I think in England because they are paid such crap money, I think they must love it if they do it there. Everybody I know who's in the West End teaches or does another job

How comes you guys don't have Equity there or a union?
We do, but you don't have to be a part of it. Wish is such a shame because if you were it would be stronger. So people can come in off the street and audition and have no training, nothing. Normally it doesn't work for them like it does for people who are trained.

What's it like to be in Milwaukee? 
Fabulous!

Did you think it was random?
It's not because, I work at a rep theater in England called Chichester Festival Theatre and it's very similar to that which is outside of London. It's kind of the same feel. It's a massive city with no cars on the road. They have these wide roads and hardly any traffic.

Stephen Mear (R) teaching a sequence for Tateh & Little Girl in "Ragtime"

So you're going to New York after this?
Yeah, to audition dancers for the Met, the Metropolitan Opera for a few days. I'll be back over there for Christmas and New Year.

What would you encourage a young dancer to do? Why do it? Is it even worth it?
If you are a dancer I would encourage you to do it if you wanted to do it. I deal with musical theater people so I prefer triple threats that can act, sing and dance.

How is it working in the show dealing with different skill levels and body types?
I'm so used to it because I've done a lot of musicals where we've had to just have actors. It's just giving them confidence to believe in you and trust you. Like I always say to everybody, I will never make anybody look stupid. I really believe it. But also, I think once you say that to somebody, people will open up to you, even if they make a fool of themselves in rehearsal, they are willing to do that to see how far they can be pushed.

What's your biggest pet peeve about performers or dancers?
When people say no. If someone says "no, I can't do that" "or no I wouldn't" and they start getting defensive, that's when you know you're in trouble and I'm not good with people like that.

I am a little curious, not to backtrack too much, but you mentioned you were dyslexic. Have you ever made any pieces about being dyslexia?
No I haven't actually. And when I decided to do "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" in Mary Poppins [on the West End], Matthew Bourne said to me "are you mad?" Because I couldn't spell it. We had to have all the letters on the mirror while I was doing it!

Were you ever teased about being dyslexic?
.......
More on this and the struggles of being a performer in Part II of our conversation here.

"Thank You 10" - Conversations Between Acting

I'm some ways, the early days of rehearsal can feel like the first day of school. There's lots of anxiety yet excitement, nervousness and confidence, self-doubt a midst intense hope. But it's more than just school and I am approaching each new experience as more than just a student.

One of the aspects I've enjoyed the most about my experience with Houston Shakespeare Festival is the talking-to and getting-to-know my fellow artists better. The conversations in of themselves teach me so much about the different paths people take in this field. I've been able to eek out life advice AND steal some really great acting techniques from so many of the more established actors in the casts.

One of the most eye-opening realizations I've had is learning that many of the actors are (a lot) older than they play, and a lot older than I thought they were. I'm glad I can end that misguided perception. Given that truth, and the truth that black don't crack, I think I'm good for at least another 20-30 years.

Another unique thing about these casts... a lot of them are married. Speaking as someone who one day hopes to start a family, this was rather reassuring. You CAN be a performer and have a happy married life. What's particularly unique about this season is the number of couples there are in the overall artistic team! The guy who plays Antony is married to the director (Leah Gardiner) of Antony & Cleopatra, and Cleopatra is married to Octavius. Aggripa is married to the stage manager of Antony & Cleopatra. Pompey is getting married to someone who used to be in connected to the festival. Enobarbus is married to someone who used to be connected to the show...

and you wouldn't know it because, as a friend in the cast put it, "no one changes their frickin' name anymore!"

Anyway. It's been fun yet hard. I'm much more confident with Phebe of "As You Like it" than Charmian of "Antony & Cleopatra", but that's probably because I've spent more time in/with her  I'm enjoying it all around. I'm looking forward to creating and finding more and more dimensions to both roles. And...how awesome is it that I get paid to do this?! I truly am blessed from above! -Nickclette Izuegbu

Help Me Edit Episode 1

Hey Guys!

Remember the episodes that I spoke about writing in this post here? Well, I've published episode 1 on Scribd.com! Click the link below. I'd love any feedback from you guys to help me make it better. Let me know what you like, don't like, and are curious about! Let's get editing.

Siblings - Episode 1 - Draft 5 by Nickclette Izuegbu

Guest Blogger: Jelisa1987 - "The Quietest People Have The Loudest Minds"

“The quietest people have the loudest minds.”

My friends don’t think I’m quiet.  In fact, I’m sure they wish I would shut up!  It’s when I get into the workplace that I calm down.  I become quiet.  I may joke a bit here or there but I’m generally chill… which causes people to think I’m shy.  People assume so much about the quietest person in the group.  They think that they are timid and meek because they aren’t yakking at every comment brought up in the conversation but what I’ve noticed about those who choose their words wisely is that they are key observers and some of the brightest people you’ll ever meet.

During my first week of working as a program tutor to high school students, I wasn’t the loud one, the flamboyant tutor.  I worked hard to make sure everything was getting done.  My goal was not to make jokes and play around (although after hours my co-workers and I did that).  Work is what I’m getting paid for.  The thing about working so hard is that you miss out on the moments where the fun and laughter happens. Bonding. I usually suck it up and remind myself that that is what breaks, after hours and weekends are for.  I’m here to do a job.

Working with so many different personalities has taught me so much about life.  I’ve been dealing with so much personally. If you are quiet, don’t be afraid to speak up when you need to.  A closed mouth doesn’t get fed.  Not everyone is going to notice your hard work and effort but work hard anyway.  If you need to assert your presence do so (in a kind way).  Remember that your thoughts, ideas and emotions are valuable to the world and you don’t have to change for anyone.  

J

Jelisa1987 is a self-professed "Black Girl, Latin World blogger. Houston raised. Jesus Saved. Leader. Fighter. Writer. K∆X. Afro-Latino advocate. World traveler. Spanish Speaker."

She has an ardent passion for lots of things and one of her biggest goals is to find a way to merge her interest in the arts, activism, and Afro-Latino culture. I think she can do it. Do you? To here more of her musings follow her on Twitter @Jelisa1987.

Guest Bloggers Are A-Comin'!!!!

Hey Guys

Although many of you believe in my inherent genius, I figure two heads are still better than one. Heck, three heads are better than one. There's a lot to be gained from having multiple voices and perspectives come in to conversation with one another. This dialogue allows us question our own beliefs and become more knowledge and aware about the subtle grey areas that represent our cultural consciousness. (Geez, I feel like I'm writing a pair. Ick). As such, in the vein of sharing what "Eaze Way Says," I decided to ask a few of my friends to do the same and become regular guest bloggers! They all have connection to the arts and/or entertainment industry, but they also have interests that extend far beyond my own. It's my belief that this collective sharing will offer some great fellowship and great support.

Episode 3 Has Arrived....

Today I am meeting with a mentor writer friend of mine to get some feedback on episodes I've written for my most recent webseries currently entitled "Siblings." (My family is secretly hoping they are(not) featured in it. LOL.

I'm so excited. I may or may not cry. I may or may not get defensive. I may or may not want to quit afterwards.


Yeah... that's a crock. I'm going to love every uncomfortable awesome moment of it. The part that's probably going to be the most annoying isn't that I'll have to make edits... I love edits. That part that's going to be the most annoying is that now I have to start working on my next project. Idea development never ends. You have to keep writing. There isn't one idea. It's not genius to just write one piece. Genius and excellence develop from a disciplined practice. We don't just have the MacBook... we have the iPad, the iPod, the... well you see where I am going with this. Keep working! guys

Failing Up

Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave. - Mary Tyler Moore

I am continually humbled by the things I don't achieve as much as I am by the things that I do. At times it feels as though I am not a strong person. I think it's an interesting perspective to embrace the fact that the times at which we are humbled by our own actions or the actions of others, can help us to be stronger people in the end. It's old age adage "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." It's annoying, but perhaps, just maybe, it's true? :D