Ain't Nobody Got Time For That: Working Amidst Self-Doubt

I am a worrier by nature... well my present nature. I don't think think I was always this way and I certainly hope not to be when I hit 30/35/30. (Everyone always talks about hitting those ages as this amazing time of "don't-give-any-fucks" with such joy and serenity. But that's where I sit now. And I don't like it. I really don't like it. It can be immensely overwhelming to think about how something, someone, some choice from your past may detrimentally affect your future. Hell, by the sheer virtue of my blackness, I may not get a job from some company. And what if I really wanted that job!? Or, the fact that I went to Harvard makes people give me a second glance, as if some institution makes you better? I mean, I'll take that advantage, but that doesn't guarantee me anything. Or, what about that potentially infamous picture that's on Facebook (don't go looking for it) that some "frenemy" won't take down? Or, that one time I.......  Or, the fact that I am pro-choice (not pro-terminate)... but pro-choice and I decide to express the values? So forth and so on. I won't divulge every victory or failure of my past of which in the latter there are many... but you see how my mind works? 

The only solution I've found on my worst day seems trivial... and on my best day seems life- affirming. 

• Say/Pray something to God/Higher Power/Heavens/Universe
• Connecting with good, honest people with whom you can talk and fellowship
• Be outside in nature listening to the little miracles, ie birds chirping, wind blowing, rain drops hitting the ground, bugs trynna bite me (I think I may have been a tree in another lifetime. HA!)
• Writing
• And recite the serenity prayer. Like a lot. Like.. to the point where my shoulders relax. Reminding myself that I can't control everything and attempting to, will surmount in a massive panic attack.

So in the meantime, I'm going to work on things I CAN control, like publishing a book of monologues this fall, and keepin it movin'. Cause when it comes to worry.... "ain't nobody got time for that."

Guest Blogger: Jelisa1987 - "The Quietest People Have The Loudest Minds"

“The quietest people have the loudest minds.”

My friends don’t think I’m quiet.  In fact, I’m sure they wish I would shut up!  It’s when I get into the workplace that I calm down.  I become quiet.  I may joke a bit here or there but I’m generally chill… which causes people to think I’m shy.  People assume so much about the quietest person in the group.  They think that they are timid and meek because they aren’t yakking at every comment brought up in the conversation but what I’ve noticed about those who choose their words wisely is that they are key observers and some of the brightest people you’ll ever meet.

During my first week of working as a program tutor to high school students, I wasn’t the loud one, the flamboyant tutor.  I worked hard to make sure everything was getting done.  My goal was not to make jokes and play around (although after hours my co-workers and I did that).  Work is what I’m getting paid for.  The thing about working so hard is that you miss out on the moments where the fun and laughter happens. Bonding. I usually suck it up and remind myself that that is what breaks, after hours and weekends are for.  I’m here to do a job.

Working with so many different personalities has taught me so much about life.  I’ve been dealing with so much personally. If you are quiet, don’t be afraid to speak up when you need to.  A closed mouth doesn’t get fed.  Not everyone is going to notice your hard work and effort but work hard anyway.  If you need to assert your presence do so (in a kind way).  Remember that your thoughts, ideas and emotions are valuable to the world and you don’t have to change for anyone.  

J

Jelisa1987 is a self-professed "Black Girl, Latin World blogger. Houston raised. Jesus Saved. Leader. Fighter. Writer. K∆X. Afro-Latino advocate. World traveler. Spanish Speaker."

She has an ardent passion for lots of things and one of her biggest goals is to find a way to merge her interest in the arts, activism, and Afro-Latino culture. I think she can do it. Do you? To here more of her musings follow her on Twitter @Jelisa1987.

Guest Bloggers Are A-Comin'!!!!

Hey Guys

Although many of you believe in my inherent genius, I figure two heads are still better than one. Heck, three heads are better than one. There's a lot to be gained from having multiple voices and perspectives come in to conversation with one another. This dialogue allows us question our own beliefs and become more knowledge and aware about the subtle grey areas that represent our cultural consciousness. (Geez, I feel like I'm writing a pair. Ick). As such, in the vein of sharing what "Eaze Way Says," I decided to ask a few of my friends to do the same and become regular guest bloggers! They all have connection to the arts and/or entertainment industry, but they also have interests that extend far beyond my own. It's my belief that this collective sharing will offer some great fellowship and great support.

Failing Up

Take chances, make mistakes. That's how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave. - Mary Tyler Moore

I am continually humbled by the things I don't achieve as much as I am by the things that I do. At times it feels as though I am not a strong person. I think it's an interesting perspective to embrace the fact that the times at which we are humbled by our own actions or the actions of others, can help us to be stronger people in the end. It's old age adage "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger." It's annoying, but perhaps, just maybe, it's true? :D

From the Book According to Chelsea Handler

Life can sometimes feel like it's riddled with grenades and landmines. At times, you step in a bad patch and life implodes right before your very eyes. At other times, you pick up a grenade and pull the pin and are the cause for the implosion. What happens after each battle? What happens after the war? How do you keep winning in your life both career-wise and socially.

I think it's a two parter. A two parter that I've picked up from someone I look up to a great deal: Chelsea Handler. She's a self-made woman who's life has been riddled with numerous ups and downs and she's risen to become one of the world's most successful creative entrepreneurs, entertainers, writers and funny-women.

1. Use your hiccups and mistakes to your advantage. Embrace Them! Transform a negative into a positive. Play your inner hero, not your villain. We are imperfect creatures but finding a way to use your situations, adapt it, and make it work FOR you and not AGAINST you, will get you further than you think. Part of this includes accepting your situation and owning it. You can have a hand in your progress, your image, your destiny. 
2. You've got to find your tribe. Time and time again I've heard the age-old adage repeated when I ask my elders who are successfully living their lives. You've got to find the people who can contribute and encourage your ambitions, your creativity, peace-of-mind. And once you find your tribe stick together. Uplift one another and support each other.

Check some of her story here.