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The Token Dancer from the Ghetto Story... by *nickels*

It's at the core of American identity and yet, so often, our country is afraid to face it: race. I know, if it were me, I'd hit the back button in a second, but bear with me. As a woman of color I deal with race all the time, I mean all the damn time. Add to that, I'm performing in Milwaukee Repertory Theater's current production of "Ragtime," analyzing race gets exhausting. But during a recent lunch break, I had the chance to watch an episode of my favorite shows called "Breaking Pointe" about the inner workings of a BalletWest, one of the nations premier ballet companies.

In this particular episode, the cast list for Cinderella is to be revealed. There is steep competition for one role in particular, Napoleon, for whom two dancers are in the running for. One, Zachary Prentice, is young, gossip-hungry dancer from the Ballet 2 Apprentice Company and the other is Joshua Whitehead, a young dancer from the ghetto who is in the primary company Corps. The first white, the latter black. (Must we always have a dancer from the ghetto story... I digress). The role requires someone with amazing comedic timing, characters skills, and ability to be the butt of everyone's jokes. It goes to the white guy. No biggie... EXCEPT... when there is.

Josh bravely approaches the Artistic Director, Adam Sklute, about the casting and asks "Is it because I'm black?" Adam reveals that he chose not to cast this young man because he cared very deeply for the dancer and didn't want to make a joke of the only African-American male in the entire company. Conversely, this young dancer wanted to be seen only for this talent, not his race (a rather naive standpoint, but perhaps I'm much more of a realist than I realize).  If an audience member read something into the performance, it was on them.

Center - Josh Whitehead
I felt a wealth of complex emotions for the both men. The Artistic Director wanted to respect this young dancer. But in doing so, he has limited this young man's chance to perform because of his race. In one moment, this dance company highlighted the subtlety of race and injustice in America but also the generational transformations that are occurring over time. The Artistic Director, by all accounts (and assumptions) is an open-minded and educated individual. He made a decision from a point of power based on race. The dancer lost an opportunity due to the fear of how his skin would add/change the story.

I was heartbroken and reminded again of the reality of my race. I am always the other with weighted meaning, and white is the litmus test of neutrality. As an actress, among other things, I found it a wonderful insight into race politics for America, but largely, race politics in the performance world. Hopefully, I will not always be relegated to roles that only a black person could play, but rather I will be given the opportunity to perform.

-EazeWaySays

Guest Blogger - @jesimieljenkins - Moving to LA (Part 2) by *nickels*


If you guys may recall, my friend Jesimiel wrote, a couple of weeks back, about why he chose to move to LA in pursuit of his dreams of working as a host in the entertainment industry. Below, my dear friend elaborates one what he's learned in the last six months since he's been there. It's an eye opener and I think for all artists hoping to make it in LA, or any major metropolis (read: NYC, London, Paris, Tokyo, Rio... etc), you can learn a lot from his experiences.

Three things I’ve learned so far:


A career in the entertainment business is EXPENSIVE. 
-You must be willing to make a sizable investment in yourself to be taken seriously
            -This means paying for really great headshots
            -This means enrolling in ongoing acting classes at a good studio
            -This means buying great clothes that make people notice you when you walk into the audition room

Many people in LA want to be successful but few want to work for it.
-Many people want THAT life, that Beverly Hills life, but few will invest in themselves and work for it.
-It’s important to consistently work towards your goals in a sprawling city like LA and do things that you’re passionate about
-You don’t want to end up another embittered and angry artist serving tables and waiting for Steven Spielberg to walk in and notice you- take your career and your life into your own hands

Drugs are very very real
-I had a very sheltered upbringing in the suburbs of Virginia. I knew what drugs were but they were a very distant reality
-In LA, drugs are a close reality
            -Seriously, keep your drink close at bars and don’t go to an “after-party” with someone you don’t know, there will probably be drugs there

None of the families in Wilkerson’s book aspired to grace the big screen, they just wanted higher wages for their families and to live without threat of racial violence.  However, as I near the end of Wilkerson’s book, I am humbly reminded that I stand on the shoulders of giants and that I am not the first to take this journey.  Though my experience dims in comparison to the present and blood-drenched reality my ancestors lived in the south, I take pride in their bravery as they, like I, made the courageous decision to act upon their dreams.       

follow him @jesimieljenkins on Twitter

Ain't Nobody Got Time For That: Working Amidst Self-Doubt by *nickels*

I am a worrier by nature... well my present nature. I don't think think I was always this way and I certainly hope not to be when I hit 30/35/30. (Everyone always talks about hitting those ages as this amazing time of "don't-give-any-fucks" with such joy and serenity. But that's where I sit now. And I don't like it. I really don't like it. It can be immensely overwhelming to think about how something, someone, some choice from your past may detrimentally affect your future. Hell, by the sheer virtue of my blackness, I may not get a job from some company. And what if I really wanted that job!? Or, the fact that I went to Harvard makes people give me a second glance, as if some institution makes you better? I mean, I'll take that advantage, but that doesn't guarantee me anything. Or, what about that potentially infamous picture that's on Facebook (don't go looking for it) that some "frenemy" won't take down? Or, that one time I.......  Or, the fact that I am pro-choice (not pro-terminate)... but pro-choice and I decide to express the values? So forth and so on. I won't divulge every victory or failure of my past of which in the latter there are many... but you see how my mind works? 

The only solution I've found on my worst day seems trivial... and on my best day seems life- affirming. 
  • Say/Pray something to God/Higher Power/Heavens/Universe
  • Connecting with good, honest people with whom you can talk and fellowship
  • Be outside in nature listening to the little miracles, ie birds chirping, wind blowing, rain drops hitting the ground, bugs trynna bite me (I think I may have been a tree in another lifetime. HA!)
  • Writing
  • And recite the serenity prayer. Like a lot. Like.. to the point where my shoulders relax. Reminding myself that I can't control everything and attempting to, will surmount in a massive panic attack.
So in the meantime, I'm going to work on things I CAN control, like publishing a book of monologues this fall, and keepin it movin'. Cause when it comes to worry.... "ain't nobody got time for that."