One of my favorite episodes from "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" is "Stress Related" from season 6 episode 3, aka "That Time Carlton Banks Straight Up Played Himself." Oh my Lordt! Peak foolishness and naïveté.
What had happened was... Carlton waltzes into his family's living room to loudly and proudly proclaim to his father that he'd just gotten "the" job. Except, he had not. Like... AT ALL. (I'm laughing already!) He is basing this job that is "in the bag" solely off of the body language of his interviewers. What is this body language you may wonder?
A wink and the gun.
Bihhhh Whet!?!?! He knew there were other applicants, he knew he was too young for the job, and yet he still began celebrating, before getting said jobs, because a bunch of white dudes in a boardroom gave him a wink and the gun. (First of all, everyone knows that white guys don't commit to anything with no wink and no gun. COME ON MAN! You better get a handshake, a signed and notarized contract, and a golf game followed by a night with strippers before you believe that).
To be fair, I understand where Carlton was coming from. He's young... dumb... full of hope. Sometimes you over-reach when seemingly positive vibes are flowing in a room. But let's face it, a lot of white guys really do love to do "the wink and the gun" and it means not a damnt thing.
Exhibit A: Nice, Approachable White Dad - Danny Tanner (played by Bob Saget)
The Point
While you can't necessarily depend on someone else to give you an opportunity, regardless of how dazzling, warm, and sweet they may talk to you, there is one person on whom you can depend.
Yourself.
That, my friends, is a golden nugget! You know you better than anyone else. You can give yourself opportunity, or at least a chance. I know this because I've been forced to learn this lesson time and time again. Yes, I have been able to benefit from wonderful opportunities that other people have given to me. My parents, my siblings (sometimes), a scholarship here and there, a few great teachers and mentors along the way. But to be honest, there's a lot I haven't gotten. There's a lot that about me that society likes to deem unworthy of chance or opportunity. I'm a black woman and and an artist and I've made massive mistakes. I'm not supposed to "get" anything. And you know what. So what.
I have the power to create opportunity for myself and I should!
You are your own accelerator. You are your own momentum.
So even if it's something small. Whether it's one push up, one page, one task, do it. You can depend on your own efforts, your own purpose, and your own clear vision for you life.
One step at a time homie. One step at a time.
What had happened was... Carlton waltzes into his family's living room to loudly and proudly proclaim to his father that he'd just gotten "the" job. Except, he had not. Like... AT ALL. (I'm laughing already!) He is basing this job that is "in the bag" solely off of the body language of his interviewers. What is this body language you may wonder?
A wink and the gun.
Exhibit A: Nice, Approachable White Dad - Danny Tanner (played by Bob Saget)
Exhibit B: Dopey-Looking White Guy - Jake Gyllenhaal (I will literally never get his appeal).
Exhibit C: Annoying AF White Guy Who Is Your Boss - Michael Scott (played by Steve Carell. Have ya'll seen Steve lately!?! Zaddy. I don't make the rules, my body just responds).
Exhibit D: Mansplaining White Guy - George Costanza played by Jason Alexander
Even looking at the body language of this motion, I see nothing about it says "I am telling you truth." It looks like someone promising you something that they can't deliver... which is exactly what happened to Carlton when he found out he did not get the job. (Re-live it here.)
The Point
While you can't necessarily depend on someone else to give you an opportunity, regardless of how dazzling, warm, and sweet they may talk to you, there is one person on whom you can depend.
Yourself.
That, my friends, is a golden nugget! You know you better than anyone else. You can give yourself opportunity, or at least a chance. I know this because I've been forced to learn this lesson time and time again. Yes, I have been able to benefit from wonderful opportunities that other people have given to me. My parents, my siblings (sometimes), a scholarship here and there, a few great teachers and mentors along the way. But to be honest, there's a lot I haven't gotten. There's a lot that about me that society likes to deem unworthy of chance or opportunity. I'm a black woman and and an artist and I've made massive mistakes. I'm not supposed to "get" anything. And you know what. So what.
I have the power to create opportunity for myself and I should!
One step at a time homie. One step at a time.