My 2019 Vision Board: A Tale of Self-Sabotage.

Vision boards. I enjoy making them. It's a great way to exercise my imagination and picture a reality that I want for myself. And while it's definitely something a lot of people make at the beginning of the year, I wouldn't call it a required task. If anything, I think writing out your goals for the year and breaking the actions needed to turn those goals into facts is a better indicator of success for the coming year than vision boarding. Seriously, THAT PART.

Bu t's still fun to SEE the things you want. After having my year-in-review meeting with myself (I am a corporation) where I reviewed the failures and success of last year and then planned my goals for the next (breaking down the actions needed to achieve them into quarters), I was ready to craft!

And... I got stuck.

When I tell ya'll, I came up with every (stupid) excuse known to man to not make the vision board including:

• I didn't have the right magazines to find pictures that matched my vision. 
• I promised my sister I'd wait so we could do it together. 
• I promised my sister I'd wait before cutting her magazines. 
• I don't have the right poster board to put the pictures and quotes on. 
• It's raining outside and I can't go out and get any. 
• No one will buy me one.
• It's too late in the day to start.

I even found some white 8.5X11 printer paper and was going to paste a few sheets together and then I thought "Oh no! If the paper is fragmented, my dream is fragmented. It won't work."

My sister finally caved and told me she had some colorful teacher/butcher coloring paper from school. It was slightly wrinkled but it was a single sheet, which is what I wanted. I put it on the wall to began assembly and all all of a sudden.... the single sheet of paper, that was colored, that I wanted was too too dark.

Self-sabotage is real.

Ya'll, I have already cut all the things I want to put on my board and I'm still waiting for it to be perfect before I start AND the dang thing is for my eyes only! What in the actual humanoid-self-sabotage-fuckery is this!? I have literally already written the goals, the steps to achieve them, I have cut the magazines and procured images and I'M OVER HERE OVERANALYZING OVER SOME PAPER.

This is how waiting for the perfect moment to fulfill your dreams/goals will have you fucking up your own blessings.

SO, I'm going to sit my ass down and paste this white paper together or maybe use these red butcher paper and I will COMPLETE THIS VISION BOARD. Then, I'm going to finish this blog and post it on the internet because I promised that I'd post a blog a week for the year.

Phew. Be better than me from 30 minutes ago stressing out over paper. (I'm still lowkey mad at myself).

This is my vision board. I ended up venturing out to get white posterboard because I wanted to see the negative white space. Go figure. Self awareness is real. My vision board was a little late. But my vision board is done. Me: 1 My Ego: 0

5 Things to Start Before the End of The Year

Welp, it's October. Homegirl's come hard and fast. The year of our lord two thousand nineteen is rushing towards us with open arms. And even though 2019 is not a prime number, I have a feeling that this year will be primetime for many peoples' lives. (Yes, I realize I that was corny.) All that aside, even though I am prone to overthinking my future because... you know, why not, I want to make sure that I take the time to really soak up the remainder of 2018, and all her voluptuousness, before she bounces on out. So, I present to you the five things I'm going to start doing (more of) before the end of 2018.

1. Make Gratitude an Active Practice
During the latter part of this year, I came across an exercise that was so simple, that my not doing made me feel guilty. What is it? Practicing gratitude on the daily. Instead of waking up in the morning and going on autopilot into Instagram (damn you and your addictive algorithm), I am going to continue to make a list of things I'm grateful for. I'm gonna pop open my notes app and jot down the first 5 things that pop into my head. I can't like, air conditioning is always at the top of the list, followed by functional knees that don't lock, followed by having a job or somewhere to go collect coins.

In all seriousness, I'm going to make Gratitude it an ACTIVE PRACTICE. Like athletes to drills and musicians to scales, I'm going to condition that muscle of gratitude. This means if I have a lull in the day or a moment of sadness, yes I will acknowledge it, but I will also find something to be grateful for. Here's the thing, you can still be sad yet happy at the same time. I believe you can do so by practicing the act of gratitude. And just in time of Thanksgiving.

2. Be of Service
Sometimes being of service is annoying. Especially when you feel like you're being taken advantage of. But I realized, sometimes, you're not actually being hurt, you're just being inconvenienced. This active of simple service is absolutely different for everyone. Maybe it's offering my seat to someone on the train/bus when its full. Maybe it's even smaller than that like TAKING YOUR BAG OUT OF THE SEAT NEXT TO YOU SO SOMEONE CAN ACTUALLY SIT DOWN. (I digress).

Maybe yours is a little bit bigger, like cooking a meal for your family and loved ones once a week just because. Or being consistent with a chore or some mundane tasks that makes someone else's life easier. And don't even let them know, just do it. Heck, you can become the tea/treat person at your work just randomly giving out treats like that imaginary melanin deficient man of yonder who lives somewhere north. Those little surprise acts of service may brighten someone else's day. And beyond that, you will find an this adds joy to your own day. 

3. Learn Some Sh*t About You
People be out here dating and not even knowing what they like to eat on a restaurant menu. How's about you pick a day, once a week, or maybe twice a month, PUT IT IN YOUR CALENDAR WITH AN ALERT, and treat yourself to some new experiences. Try something new (and legal) that makes you nervous. Try something that makes you uncomfortable. Try something that you know you like but haven't done in ages. Just figure some shit out about you. You speak to yourself everyday and sometimes we can be mean to ourselves. Let's work on it by just treating ourselves to some real moments of joy and self acknowledgement. But for real, be about it. Put an actual date, once a week, in your google calendar, with an alert and a reminder! (I'm all about being tangible). Your brain will get so used to that weekly "me" time you won't know what to do. (Cue "I'm Feelin' Myself").

4. Read a book.
Any book. Please. You can follow my online book club/recommendation profile on GoodReads.  Let's expand these minds.

No seriously. You need to be able to answer the question "what's your favorite book?" without 'uhmmming.' Or at least be able to answer the question "what kinds of things do you like to read?"

Again. One. Book.

5. Write It (All) Down.
Whether it's your feelings, your goals, your to do list for the morning, you need to write it down. And revisit it. Check the list off. Writing things down will really make you get more stuff done and will get you more in tune with who you are and eventually with what your purpose is. It sounds so basic "Just write it down on paper." Yo, I'm serious. It will change your life.

A few years back, I started writing down my goals for the upcoming year, and usually this was usually in December. Then a couple years back, I started breaking them down into quarterly goals. I figured, business have yearly goals and so do I. I can probably reverse engineer this sh*t outta my life. Reminded me of how I started preparing for college freshman year of high school. And last year, I broke it down to a monthly level.

One of my favorite things to do now is have regular quarterly meetings with myself. Having stuff written down let's me see what's not working so I can fix it and what IS working so I can applaud myself. It's so easy when you're grinding on person goals and fulfilling mundane adult tasks to feel like you're not moving the boulder, or climbing the mountain, or ... you choose your own metaphor. Having it written let's you actually see progress! Not only with "success" markers with your career but you also so emotionally guideposts of changes. Have you ever read your journal from middle school and high school and felt for yourself? Things that were so heavy in that moment, compared to now, seem silly. Writing it down lets you actually see that change and growth in the self.

So. Let's Finish. Let's Finish Strong.

In the immortal words of the famous poet Waka Flaka "Oh let's do it, YUP!"

Happy New Year, Happy New... Same Ol Shit But Better

Happy New Year everyone. I gotta say, I was rather pleased with my entry into 2014. And grateful to chunk the deuce to 2013. Don't get me wrong, some AMAZING things happened in 2013. But some of my lowest moments occurred last year as well. And it hurt. It hurt like a muthafucka. There's that saying of "God is getting your prepared to handle larger obstacles in the future." On more than one occasion I thought to myself F*** this! More pain not necessary. Seriously, I'm not ready to handle more obstacles if they are harder. I'm good where I am. Who the hell do I think I am?

That being said, I'm grateful to have gone through the year and made it to 2014. I recently read an article about focusing on systems rather than goals when approaching accomplishments and I liked the idea. Actually going through what I want to achieve and focusing NOT on the final milestones but the actual every day steps, the journey (and seeing if you enjoy THAT) is a helpful way to think about moving past regrets and actually learning from one's mistakes. I also came across this article about the 100 day project at the top of the year. People will approach a project/skill they want to tackle and submit a 10sec clip of it everyday. It's quite inspiring.

And since it's essentially talking about New Year's resolutions, I'm going to put out some goals that I'd like to achieve this year. :D

• Write a scene everyday
• Blog everyday
• Learn a new language, to play new instrument, to code, to tap dance
• Develop my web presence
• Publish a book
• Produce a web series
• Produce a stage reading of a play
• Workout 5X a week
• Eat better

Knowing me, I'll come up with a multitude of goals to add to it, but there's nothing wrong with creating and adding to an awesome to-do/experience list.

-Eazeway