5 Things to Start Before the End of The Year

Welp, it's October. Homegirl's come hard and fast. The year of our lord two thousand nineteen is rushing towards us with open arms. And even though 2019 is not a prime number, I have a feeling that this year will be primetime for many peoples' lives. (Yes, I realize I that was corny.) All that aside, even though I am prone to overthinking my future because... you know, why not, I want to make sure that I take the time to really soak up the remainder of 2018, and all her voluptuousness, before she bounces on out. So, I present to you the five things I'm going to start doing (more of) before the end of 2018.

1. Make Gratitude an Active Practice
During the latter part of this year, I came across an exercise that was so simple, that my not doing made me feel guilty. What is it? Practicing gratitude on the daily. Instead of waking up in the morning and going on autopilot into Instagram (damn you and your addictive algorithm), I am going to continue to make a list of things I'm grateful for. I'm gonna pop open my notes app and jot down the first 5 things that pop into my head. I can't like, air conditioning is always at the top of the list, followed by functional knees that don't lock, followed by having a job or somewhere to go collect coins.

In all seriousness, I'm going to make Gratitude it an ACTIVE PRACTICE. Like athletes to drills and musicians to scales, I'm going to condition that muscle of gratitude. This means if I have a lull in the day or a moment of sadness, yes I will acknowledge it, but I will also find something to be grateful for. Here's the thing, you can still be sad yet happy at the same time. I believe you can do so by practicing the act of gratitude. And just in time of Thanksgiving.

2. Be of Service
Sometimes being of service is annoying. Especially when you feel like you're being taken advantage of. But I realized, sometimes, you're not actually being hurt, you're just being inconvenienced. This active of simple service is absolutely different for everyone. Maybe it's offering my seat to someone on the train/bus when its full. Maybe it's even smaller than that like TAKING YOUR BAG OUT OF THE SEAT NEXT TO YOU SO SOMEONE CAN ACTUALLY SIT DOWN. (I digress).

Maybe yours is a little bit bigger, like cooking a meal for your family and loved ones once a week just because. Or being consistent with a chore or some mundane tasks that makes someone else's life easier. And don't even let them know, just do it. Heck, you can become the tea/treat person at your work just randomly giving out treats like that imaginary melanin deficient man of yonder who lives somewhere north. Those little surprise acts of service may brighten someone else's day. And beyond that, you will find an this adds joy to your own day. 

3. Learn Some Sh*t About You
People be out here dating and not even knowing what they like to eat on a restaurant menu. How's about you pick a day, once a week, or maybe twice a month, PUT IT IN YOUR CALENDAR WITH AN ALERT, and treat yourself to some new experiences. Try something new (and legal) that makes you nervous. Try something that makes you uncomfortable. Try something that you know you like but haven't done in ages. Just figure some shit out about you. You speak to yourself everyday and sometimes we can be mean to ourselves. Let's work on it by just treating ourselves to some real moments of joy and self acknowledgement. But for real, be about it. Put an actual date, once a week, in your google calendar, with an alert and a reminder! (I'm all about being tangible). Your brain will get so used to that weekly "me" time you won't know what to do. (Cue "I'm Feelin' Myself").

4. Read a book.
Any book. Please. You can follow my online book club/recommendation profile on GoodReads.  Let's expand these minds.

No seriously. You need to be able to answer the question "what's your favorite book?" without 'uhmmming.' Or at least be able to answer the question "what kinds of things do you like to read?"

Again. One. Book.

5. Write It (All) Down.
Whether it's your feelings, your goals, your to do list for the morning, you need to write it down. And revisit it. Check the list off. Writing things down will really make you get more stuff done and will get you more in tune with who you are and eventually with what your purpose is. It sounds so basic "Just write it down on paper." Yo, I'm serious. It will change your life.

A few years back, I started writing down my goals for the upcoming year, and usually this was usually in December. Then a couple years back, I started breaking them down into quarterly goals. I figured, business have yearly goals and so do I. I can probably reverse engineer this sh*t outta my life. Reminded me of how I started preparing for college freshman year of high school. And last year, I broke it down to a monthly level.

One of my favorite things to do now is have regular quarterly meetings with myself. Having stuff written down let's me see what's not working so I can fix it and what IS working so I can applaud myself. It's so easy when you're grinding on person goals and fulfilling mundane adult tasks to feel like you're not moving the boulder, or climbing the mountain, or ... you choose your own metaphor. Having it written let's you actually see progress! Not only with "success" markers with your career but you also so emotionally guideposts of changes. Have you ever read your journal from middle school and high school and felt for yourself? Things that were so heavy in that moment, compared to now, seem silly. Writing it down lets you actually see that change and growth in the self.

So. Let's Finish. Let's Finish Strong.

In the immortal words of the famous poet Waka Flaka "Oh let's do it, YUP!"

Why Reading is Fundamental - Monologue Prep

Do you're research. Do you're research. Do you're research.

When you pull a monologue from a play, read the damn play. [Full Stop]

Been using that same piece for a hot minute and still haven't read it? Read the damn play. [Full Stop]

You're in rehearsals and you keep being surprised by new text. READ THE DAMN PLAY! Read! Read the damn script. Ain't no half-steppin! Do not pass go unless you've READ IT ALL.

Yes, I know you're brilliant. I know your imagination is full that you can create all the imagined circumstances you want. But there's absolutely no feeling like being anchored in a history -- a history that is freely given to you. It boggles the mind the number of times I used to fly solo in my early auditioning days before I got "it" --- that reading the whole damn thing is a good thing! It's like going on a road trip and having a map, the GPS, and unlimited roaming. It'll be damn near impossible to get lost. You have so much information to pull from. Ruminate on. Luxuriate in. (I love ending sentences with prepositions.)

It's hard, even for me, and I LOVE TO READ. You know what I do when I move to a knew city? Find a grocery store, get a transportation pass, and find the closest library. That is me in a nutshell. And with all that passion for reading, sometimes reading the full play still gets to me, which is crazy because reading is a pretty chill activity. Sit. Look. Repeat. (Eat or drink if you want to.)

It's funny that I find myself in my current predicament. I need to read some text, quite a few tragedies. But... I don't want to be depressed. I know, I know, of all the reasons for not reading (like.. you know... actually not being able to read, this one feels weak as hell.) But dagnabit, I'm already going through a lot. So, to willingly read a script that will depress me feeds the procrastination beast within me because I don't want to make  myself go somewhere (in my mind) that I don't want to be. I DON'T WANNA! So what must I tell myself?

It's just a story. It isn't real. Nothing in the story is currently happening. Fascinating isn't it? The power of storytelling? That something imagined can have such an impact! That very (continual) epiphany makes me want to be a storyteller more. So all I have to do is read it. Even though the text will take me on a wild ride of emotions.

But it's just a story. Have you ever woken up from a bad dream where someone betrayed you, hurt you, did you epically dirty? And you end up walking around that entire morning pissed about something that never happened? Pissed at someone who didn't actually do anything to you? Pissed at something happening in your subconscious? Angry at the world about your life... you know... that DREAM life that didn't happen? Or have you ever watched a TV show or movie and by the end, was so angered/hurt by a character's actions and so you stop being able to like the actor who played that character? An actor who in day-to-day life didn't actually do anything? BUT YOU'RE STILL MAD? 

It's just a story.

So yes, I need to get over myself because I have some reading to do. When you're sharing a part of a story (read:the monologue), it behooves you know know the entire story. Ain't no half-stepping. You want to elicit the reaction from the audience and move them. You want to have the story somehow resonate with our very real human experiences of love, loss, lust, longing and so on and so forth. You want to see life. Share that. The power is in the details.

Orgasmic Creation

Orgasmic. Is that what living in your purpose feels like? That sensation of constantly increasing excitement while doing (your) work? Waiting hungrily for the next moment of (revolutionary) ideas, thoughts, and content, until you reach a euphoric release at the moment of completion?

I'm gonna say... yeah. To be fair, I apologize about that intro paragraph. I really wanted to write about what an orgasm feels like....And mommy if you are reading this, I mean what I think an orgasm feels like. I'm just guessing, I promise. I'm still a chaste woman. (Now that I've written that, I'm thinking, can you still be considered "chaste" and "womanly" at the same time?" I mean, unless you are some type of nun?)

Anyway, I haven't had the best of years as of late. But I'm sure everyone feels that way. Even typing this post highlights my fortune. I have fingers to write/type this. But it's been tough. That being said, I'm living in a moment of orgasmic creativity. Not only am I in a show that's running and selling out where I play a badass goddess, but I'm actively developing my passion for writing and producing.

I recently had a reading of a play I wrote. I was scared shitless. I mean, the level of public ridicule that could occur and I advertised it! Where they do that at?! I emailed friends and colleagues, numerous of whom were unaware that I'd been writing extensively for the past few years. I put myself out there (in my own little way). That feeling when you invite someone to a party and remind them about it... you can't really take it back.

I was NOT, however, bold enough to invite EVERYONE. Sue me

you know what....

It rocked! People actually enjoyed themselves. I mean I'd even made a night of it with an awesome spread to dull the senses by warming their bellies. Made sure to somewhat be self-deprecating (c'mon...be honest. that works for everyone. A little self-loathing goes a long way)

And I got honest, critical, and positive feedback. "You like me, you really like me!" (Congratulations Sally Field for being immortalized in the American entertainment canon for years to come with that quote. Girl, you certainly knew how to milk that moment.)

Sally Fields LIVING!

Best thing about it, it's in the world. And I have notes to make this bad boy more evocative, powerful, inspiring, and I'm now working on other pieces that I've been scared to work on. In part because of judgement, but also because I'm discussing issues that are dangerous and there are even closer to my heart.

So yay to orgasmic productivity, creation, and development. Whether it be the next hot app, movie, or medical innovation, I'm all for it.

#YASSSS