Positive Triggers of WGN's Underground

Underground. I watch for a lot of reasons. The acting. The storytelling. The costumes. The cinematography. The representation of it all. The presence of women (of color) in front of the screen. Aisha Hinds. Jurnee Smollett-Bell. Amirah Vann. Jasika Nicole. Dewanda Wise. Misha Green. And there's the AAW showrunner Misha Green too?!?! Talk about a body of work in your field having a team that is inspirational as fuck! I'm here for it. ALL. OF. IT.

I've wanted to be an actor since I was about 6/7 years old. My first role? I played a slave that picked cotton in my elementary school's Black History Month play in the second grade. You couldn't tell me nothing! I was the best cotton picker in the world that day! I mean, in my mind, I was WORKING. (I'll elaborate on the (in)appropriateness of this performance later.) So yes, me watching UNDERGROUND is not surprising. I am an actress. I am a writer. I like creating and telling stories. And if I had to, as history has proven to women like myself over and over again, I will write these stories and surround myself with a badass team of like-minded folx. 

That being said, watching Underground... is difficult. It has triggers! And while some of it I've experienced, I can't claim all of it as my own. Is that how triggers work I wonder? Must you have claim to the pain? To some degree yes. But seeing someone suffer at the hands of physical and psychological abuse is a difficult. Let alone a person who likes like me, and had I been born a few years earlier, I likely would have suffered the same abuse. When it comes to Underground sometimes I have to stop and check-in with Twitter at a later date because #toomuchtrauma. And all that trauma has been passed down.

Not always proud of it, but sometimes I'm thankful that 'streaming' is a thing. And while all of this technological advances allows me to "skip past the discomfort," should be allowed to skip past it? What is the requirement to check? And does this mean I have privilege?

So, I oft decide to dutifully watch because #theculture #representation #playcousins #masterclass in #writing, #acting, #storytelling. Those are positive triggers. Triggers to move forward and get to getting.

Filmmaker Future

I saw a film today called "The Tokens." A film birthed from the minds of Lamar Woods and Weldon Powers takes place during the holidays, when a "young Black man reunites with his all-White group of High School friends who have seemingly replaced with him with a new Black guy." The storytelling was evocative and powerful teetering between hilarity, discomfort, and realness that I don't see often. It inspired me to think about the stories I want to tell. And when it comes to talking about subjects that make us uncomfortable... THIS is how you can talk about race without talking about race.

So although I spent a huge part of the day, getting administrative duties done, watching the film got me started on an hour long hunt educating myself even more about film-making techniques I can work on and equipment I can utilize to my benefit.  Looking into camera's, and stabilizers, and trying to figure out why Androids aren't as good as I-phones for filming (why oh why God why... first world pr...). I appreciate the internet in this regard because the film doesn't belong to one person anymore. It belongs to the world. I'm certain that I will be producing and publishing several films this year and that's very exciting.