On this brisk autumn day in the year of our lord two thousand seventeen, I would like to give thanks for the life of one Peter Gene Hernandez, aka Bruno Mars.
I posit that there is not of a single soul who does not appreciate Mr. Mars. You can fight me on that. Let's test the theory, shall we? Your boyfriend's triflin' BFF - does he nod in approval while "Chunky"? Yes. Jan in human resources - does she have him playing on her city's soft rock station? Yes. Even your uncle, you know the one who forgets that he's your uncle and openly says stuff like “we gave women an inch and they took a foot, now the worlds gone to shit"... yes, is that dude boppin' around to Bruno Mars while you pretend he can dance? Yes... even that dude, likes Bruno Mars. He does it for me. He does it for all of us.
I posit that there is not of a single soul who does not appreciate Mr. Mars. You can fight me on that. Let's test the theory, shall we? Your boyfriend's triflin' BFF - does he nod in approval while "Chunky"? Yes. Jan in human resources - does she have him playing on her city's soft rock station? Yes. Even your uncle, you know the one who forgets that he's your uncle and openly says stuff like “we gave women an inch and they took a foot, now the worlds gone to shit"... yes, is that dude boppin' around to Bruno Mars while you pretend he can dance? Yes... even that dude, likes Bruno Mars. He does it for me. He does it for all of us.
As a detailed oriented person, I want to be particular about my praise. So here goes. (Clears throat).
I would specifically like to thank his production team for giving us the ‘That’s What I Like' music video. Swag level off the charts. Peak cool. Epic trill. And the video... this video in particularly... is deceptively simple! I love that. To the untrained eye it’s just a dude, looking fresh, and dancing by himself. (Ain't nothing wrong with that.)
I would specifically like to thank his production team for giving us the ‘That’s What I Like' music video. Swag level off the charts. Peak cool. Epic trill. And the video... this video in particularly... is deceptively simple! I love that. To the untrained eye it’s just a dude, looking fresh, and dancing by himself. (Ain't nothing wrong with that.)
I’d like to thank him for being part of the squad that brought back the cool part of the 90s. I remember hearing this track for this first while my younger sister was dropping me off at the airport.
Me: Who's fly-ass old song is this and why have I not heard this before?
Sister: Bruno Mars. He's kinda like a New Edition. You know them right?
Me: Who's fly-ass old song is this and why have I not heard this before?
Sister: Bruno Mars. He's kinda like a New Edition. You know them right?
Me: Listen here you young-whipper-snapper. What do YOU know about New Edition?
To be fair... I barely know who they are, twas before my time but... bish, who is you!? My neck still hurts from the unnatural whiplash I had in that moment. The boldness of the youths.
To be fair... I barely know who they are, twas before my time but... bish, who is you!? My neck still hurts from the unnatural whiplash I had in that moment. The boldness of the youths.
Anyway... I want to thank Bruno Mars for making the 90s not look so cheesy. I want to thank Bruno Mars for... for basically being the equivalent of the HS junior you had a crush on when you were in the entering freshman year. Innocence. Ah… times were simpler back then.
I want to thank Bruno Mars for actually knowing how to sing and knowing how to execute an amazing live show. I want to thank Bruno Mars for being woke without being annoying. I want to thank Bruno Mars for being a cultural icon for short dudes who needed someone. (We all need heroes). I want to thank Bruno Mars for providing hits. I want to thank Bruno Mars for being the cultural pillar you can bring up at a family gatherings without causing a fight.
Bruno Mars... You're what we all like. You're what we really really like.
Tina Belcher Swoon/Faint. (Side note: I am absolutely laughing at myself so hard right now.)
Because I know that if I give, I shall receive, I give you this. Use surround sound when playing.
Because I know that if I give, I shall receive, I give you this. Use surround sound when playing.