Working on camera can be so humbling. Actually, being an actress, can be so humbling. I really do appreciate having the chance to see myself on camera. And, I love that it appears that my classmates and I can learn from one another AND laugh from one another. What a rarity.
All the same, all those little doubts crept up as I watched myself on film. Gosh, it is truly an unforgiving medium, and for someone who doesn't see myself as having the industry's standards, what am I today? Even people who aren't anywhere near LA and know nothing about the industry have told me on and on about "ok so there's (INSERT CITY/STATE/CONTINENT) pretty, and then there's LA pretty."
Ugh! I ain't no Angelina. So who will I be to this industry? Am I castable? As what? Why's my face so huge? Why are they calling me lovely? Why does everyone seem to think the camera likes me? All these questions kept coming into my head 'cause I certainly didn't know the answers to any of them.
As I move forward, I don't want these thoughts in my head because that blocks me from doing the work and being comfortable and relaxed. It took me awhile to get over it for theater and now here comes film. I think ultimately, everyone, actors or non-actors, choose to do whatever it is they see necessary to feel as confident and comfortable as they can to do the work they want to do and have the life the want to have. Unfortunately, history has shown us that it's not always a healthy pursuit and no one is guaranteed happiness.
And it's on this thought on the eve of graduation that I close. Am I meant for New York? Do I look like LA? Is Chicago where it's at? Or is Dallas/New Orleans/Atlanta where I'll find happiness? Where do I belong in this industry?
Should I stay or should I go?
-EaseWay
All the same, all those little doubts crept up as I watched myself on film. Gosh, it is truly an unforgiving medium, and for someone who doesn't see myself as having the industry's standards, what am I today? Even people who aren't anywhere near LA and know nothing about the industry have told me on and on about "ok so there's (INSERT CITY/STATE/CONTINENT) pretty, and then there's LA pretty."
Ugh! I ain't no Angelina. So who will I be to this industry? Am I castable? As what? Why's my face so huge? Why are they calling me lovely? Why does everyone seem to think the camera likes me? All these questions kept coming into my head 'cause I certainly didn't know the answers to any of them.
As I move forward, I don't want these thoughts in my head because that blocks me from doing the work and being comfortable and relaxed. It took me awhile to get over it for theater and now here comes film. I think ultimately, everyone, actors or non-actors, choose to do whatever it is they see necessary to feel as confident and comfortable as they can to do the work they want to do and have the life the want to have. Unfortunately, history has shown us that it's not always a healthy pursuit and no one is guaranteed happiness.
And it's on this thought on the eve of graduation that I close. Am I meant for New York? Do I look like LA? Is Chicago where it's at? Or is Dallas/New Orleans/Atlanta where I'll find happiness? Where do I belong in this industry?
Should I stay or should I go?
-EaseWay